There’s a reason that even in the streaming era — when it’s often a year or longer between seasons — creators continue to end seasons on huge cliffhangers. It’s to provoke saps like me — and presumably the entire fanbase of Starz’s Heels, all 16 of us — to beg the network to renew those shows for another season.
Well, here I am, Starz. Renew Heels, you cowards! Don’t make us beg. But if you renew Heels, I’ll watch another season of Shining Vale, even though I didn’t love the first season. I’ll give Three Women an honest chance (I loved the book)! I’ll definitely watch that Samantha Bird series, too! Come on, Starz! Do it! Don’t screw us on this! Don’t pull a Winning Time and end on Empire Strikes Back.
Go ahead and leave us hanging for a year, if you must, but if you leave us hanging permanently, I will never forgive you, Starz network! We used to say nice things about Kelsey Grammer’s Boss, for God’s sake. You owe us! I’m sorry we didn’t watch Gaslit, but come on: All y’all really missed the mark on the American public’s interest in the Nixon era. Don’t blame us.
But look: I watched more American Gods than that show deserved. I watched Becoming Elizabeth and actually enjoyed it! I was that critic who wrote about it! You screwed us on a second season of that, too. You know how many pieces we wrote about the second season of Minx? Three! That’s three more than Cinemablend! We love you guys! We don’t even ask for screeners. We pay for Starz, even when there are weeks/months-long gaps between shows we’re interested in!
Renew the damn show, Starz! You can’t leave us hanging! Don’t you want to stay in business with creator Michael Waldron? He’s working on a Star Wars and an Avengers movie! Do you want the world to know that you fired the writer of an Avengers movie?! You don’t want to can Stephen Amell, either! He really genuinely earnestly supports the strikes! No, really! He walked so that Drew Barrymore could run!
You don’t want to put Alison Luff back on the streets, either. What if she wins a Tony? And you will have fired a Tony-award winning actress and the writer of a Star Wars AND Frank Sobotka. I will tell everyone I know that you fired Frank Sobotka! David Simon will be so mad that he will post a Twitter thread. YOu don’t want David Simon to write a Twitter thread, do you? Don’t fire Alexander Ludwig, either! He’ll have to go make more Vikings spin-offs. No one wants that!
What we want is another season of Heels, which would be Suits big if you put it on Netflix. Hell, let HBO borrow it for a couple of months like AMC+ let HBO borrow all those shows doing so well on Max now! Heels is a good product! A crowd-pleasing show! And in the years to come, Starz can either be remembered as the network that launched Heels or it can be remembered as the network that canceled Heels. Don’t be that network!