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Where Was the @#$ing 'Big Surprise' on 'The Good Wife' Last Night?

By Dustin Rowles | TV | February 15, 2016 |

By Dustin Rowles | TV | February 15, 2016 |

During last week’s Super Bowl, CBS announced that The Good Wife will be ending after this season, which meant nine (now only eight) new episodes remained. It also promised that, after “hundreds of twists” we’d be seeing the “biggest The Good Wife surprise yet.”

Those are actual quotes, and keep in mind, this so-called “biggest surprise yet” has to compete with the MOTHER of all The Good Wife surprises: The death of Will Gardner, which caught everyone off guard.

I tuned in to last night’s episode, jittery, expecting goddamn zombies to overrun Lockhart Agos, or for Peter Florrick to turn his gun on his own son before taking his own life. That’s how huge this surprise needed to be to out-surprise the death of Will Gardner.

Now I don’t know if that “big surprise” just hasn’t arrived yet, or if last night’s turn-of-events constituted the “big surprise,” because if it did, I want to sue for false advertising.

Here’s what happened: Alicia went back to Lockhart, Lee and Agos, and she brought along Luka. They immediately got involved with another case ripped from the headlines that involved Chum Hum. I am fairly certain, however, that the case itself was limited to the episode, and its only purpose was to demonstrate that Alicia and Luka’s transition back into corporate law life isn’t going to be smooth.

The plotline that has the makings of a “big surprise,” however, involved the FBI investigating Peter for what appears to be breaking campaign finance laws. Eli and Ruth Eastman (Margo Martindale) may or may not be implicated. In either respect, Ruth Eastman dropped by Alicia’s new office at the end of the episode and told Alicia to “cash out while you still can” and run the hell away from Peter before he destroys her life.

That’s not the big surprise, is it? Because if it is, that’s terrible. If it’s not, is this the big surprise (spoilers for next week’s episode from the upcoming preview):

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Because while that is compelling, IT’S NO WILL GARDNER MURDER.

Look, CBS, all I’m saying is this: Don’t turn on the oven if you can’t bring the heat. We better see some goddamn vampires, a triple homicide, or the discovery of Jimmy Hoffa’s body next week, or else I will be sorely disappointed, and by that, I mean: I will dutifully watch the remaining eight episodes because I’ve come this far, and I’m not about to abandon ship with only a few episodes remaining.

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Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.