film / tv / politics / social media / lists / web / celeb / pajiba love / misc / about / cbr
film / tv / politics / web / celeb

Screen Shot 2016-03-08 at 10.55.32 AM.jpg

A Quick Primer on the 'Downton Abbey' Finale For Those Who Quit After Season Three

By Dustin Rowles | TV | March 8, 2016 |

By Dustin Rowles | TV | March 8, 2016 |

Like a lot of folks, I got swept up into the Downton Abbey phenomenon in 2010, and like most of those people, I also lost interest in the series after the departures of Dan Stevens’ Matthew Crawley and Jessica Brown Findlay’s Lady Sybil (neither of whom have gone on to spectacular feature film careers). Save for a bloody GIF in which Robert spewed crimson gore all over a table, I haven’t watched any of the series since Matthew Crowley was killed.

The series, however, continued on for another three-plus seasons. Out of curiosity, I checked in on the finale to see how everyone fared. I attempted to watch the entire hour and a half, but quickly grew impatient, so I skipped around. From what I can gather, however, this is how Downton ended.

— Robert and Cora are still together, and not only happily married, but smitten with each other. “I was very proud of you,” Robert said of Cora’s work at the hospital, of which she has taken leadership. “You are a woman of real substance and I am lucky enough to call you my wife.”

Screen Shot 2016-03-08 at 9.51.19 AM.jpg

— I don’t remember who this guy is, but Lady Edith has married him in the big New Year’s Eve wedding finale, avoiding becoming a spinster. Somewhere along the way, it was also revealed that Edith had an illegitimate child, Marigold, who will be going to her stepfather’s estate of Brancaster Castle.

Screen Shot 2016-03-08 at 9.52.23 AM.jpg

— After succumbing to the shakes of old age, Carson and Mrs. Hughes retired and moved into the estate cottage, where they will collect a pension and continue to oversee the staff.

Screen Shot 2016-03-08 at 9.56.41 AM.jpg

— After being engulfed in another scandal of which I do not know, and after being forgiven for whatever misdeed Barrow has committed once again, Barrow found a new job, but he was lured back by being offered a promotion to Butler, replacing Carson in the position.

Screen Shot 2016-03-08 at 9.56.23 AM.jpg

— After Lady Edith’s wedding, Anne had Bates’ baby in Lady Mary’s bedroom. Bates, I guess, escaped prison. Having seen no evidence to the contrary myself, I am still convinced that Bates is a sociopath who definitely killed his first wife.

Screen Shot 2016-03-08 at 10.32.50 AM.jpg

— Lady Mary, meanwhile, clearly got over the unexpected and tragic death of her husband, and found a new husband in Henry Talbot, played by the very dashing Matthew Goode. These two are happy together and have children. After an auto racing incident in which someone named Charlie was killed, Talbot decided to embark on a car sales business with Tom. How pedestrian!

Screen Shot 2016-03-08 at 10.30.20 AM.jpg

— Tom, meanwhile, didn’t officially end up with anyone, but he flirted a lot with this woman, who ended up catching Lady Edith’s bouquet after the wedding.

Screen Shot 2016-03-08 at 10.35.00 AM.jpg

Screen Shot 2016-03-08 at 10.36.22 AM.jpg

— I’m not sure who this guy is — Lady Edith’s butler, I think — but he has been given a job as an advice columnist for the newspaper.

Screen Shot 2016-03-08 at 10.02.12 AM.jpg

— Isobel Crawley ended up with this guy, and the doctor revealed to whoever this guy is that he wouldn’t be dying of anemia, much to the couple’s relief.

Screen Shot 2016-03-08 at 10.21.45 AM.jpg

— Mrs. Patmore is staying on, happily, but she fancies this guy, who is Daisy’s father-in-law.

Screen Shot 2016-03-08 at 10.08.43 AM.jpg

— Meanwhile, after some reluctance, Daisy paired up with this fella, and decided to move to the farm along with him.

Screen Shot 2016-03-08 at 10.17.33 AM.jpg

— Finally, the Dowager Countess helped to arrange Edith and Bertie’s reconciliation and marriage, and she expressed pride for her own daughter’s accomplishments.

Screen Shot 2016-03-08 at 10.16.30 AM.jpg

You have now been spared the need to watch the last 29 episodes.

Did Danai Gurira Accidentally Drop a 'The Walking Dead' Spoiler? | Donald Trump's Connection with the Mob May Cost Him That One Black Voter

Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.