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The Rocking Horse, Huh? What We Learned About Optimal Sexual Positions from This Week's 'Masters and Johnson'

By Dustin Rowles | TV | November 11, 2013 |

By Dustin Rowles | TV | November 11, 2013 |

Holy Awkward Sex Scene, Batman — Masters and Johnson are now conducting research using themselves as subjects, and boy, is it uncomfortable. The rest of the Internet seems to be catching up to how great Masters of Sex, though many have suggested that the show is best away from the sex scenes, and it’s sex scenes like this one that make me agree.

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Female Superior, Both Sitting, Partially Reclined — However, it’s brilliant for the way it contrasts Masters and Johnson’s sex life before Masters discovers the Kama Sutra and after he discovers the “rocking horse.”

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You hear that, fellas? The rocking horse.

Over the course of the episode, Johnson, it seems, comes to realize that separating emotional attachment from sex is far more difficult when that sex comes with multiple orgasms (se what I did there?)

Baby, It’s Cold Outside — Masters, on the other hand, reverses course: He picked up a few tips from his experiences with Johnson and applied them to his own once frigid marriage, and by episode’s end, he’s excited to get home to his wife for a lovely dinner and a bang, leaving poor Johnson without a sexual partner for the evening. But can I just say, hooray! for Libby finally getting some decent sex action.

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Baby, It’s Cold Inside (My Womb) We learn that Libby did get pregnant with Ethan’s help, only not the help some of us might have expected. He was inserting Masters’ frozen semen into Libby’s cervical cap, an experiment he plans to continue post-miscarriage because Libby is afraid that Masters will leave him if they don’t have a child in common. (Oh, Libby). Can I ask this, though: Where is Ethan getting Masters’ frozen semen, and why would it work better than his live semen? Also, does anyone get the distinct feeling that Ethan is going to rat out Masters to Libby?

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Baby, That’s Just Cold — Speaking of Ethan, after he co-signed a car loan for Ginny and seemed to develop some repport with her again, his dreams of a romantic relationship with her were crushed by the knowledge that she’s conducting sexual experiments with Masters. That chased Ethan right back into the bosom of the Provost’s daughter, who has never met a shirt she cares to wear.

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Life and Limb for a Hummer — The Provost is still messing around with his male prostitute, who came to his rescue this week when some ’50s homophobes attacked the Provost. Masters gave the Scully a lecture in what he should and should not be doing with his penis while he was stitching up the Provost, and then Barton had to cancel his “New York trip” and return home suddenly, where …

Female Superior, Both Reclined — CJ Cregg was taking a ride to Austin. Austin Langham, that is. The Provost found out that his wife was cheating on him, but didn’t seem to be that bothered by it, but for the concern that his wife — who the Provost really does love — might leave him. Just come clean, Barton! I don’t know if Margaret will forgive him, but she’ll at least know that there’s a reason Barton is not attracted to her, which would spare her some loss of self-esteem, at least. These two clearly just need an “arrangement.”

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A-N-E-S-T-H-E-S-I-A Thematically, the episode turned on Masters’ need for a new secretary, specifically someone who could anticipate his needs, as Johnson has clearly learned to do (both administratively and sexually). Jane won’t be able to play grab-ass with Masters, but she should serve as an excellent secretary, who has impeccable spelling skills.

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(See Also: 10 Real-Life Facts About Bill Masters and Virginia Johnson, the Inspiration for Showtime’s ‘Masters of Sex’)

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Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.