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'The Acolyte' Episode 6: Motherforking Sith Balls

By Mike Redmond | TV | July 3, 2024 |

By Mike Redmond | TV | July 3, 2024 |


During last week’s recap of The Acolyte, I wrote the following about Manny Jacinto’s arms:

Jesus mother of God. Easily the most sexual thing ever shown in this entire franchise, and that’s including Andor taking a space shower after space sex. Horndogs ate well this week.

I knew nothing, Jon Snow.

While there’s a worthy and necessary debate over which is hotter: Jacinto’s arms in action or watching him get butt-ass naked and seduce Amandla Stenberg for 45 minutes, Twitter had a goddamn feast in Episode 6. If you’re the kind of person who gets performatively mad in the comments whenever I use embeds, you might want to abandon ship real quick because it’s going to be stuff like this the whole time. I might not even write words!

Picking up after last week’s Parent Trap switcheroo, Osha wakes up on an Unknown Planet, which we know is unknown because the TV tells us it is, and the TV never lies. That said, the planet sure does look a lot like the one where Luke is hiding in The Last Jedi, which is just an incredible boss move on Leslye Headland’s part. This show is leaving the worst elements of the fandom seething, so why not make them choke on their hate? As a cherry on top for the nerds who lost their sh*t over lesbian space witches, Episode 6 goes heavy on the aforementioned Manny nudity, and the world is richer for it. Once again, The Acolyte has pushed Star Wars to heights of horniness that you’d normally have to Google in Incognito Mode, which I definitely don’t know how to do. What’s a computer?

Aptly titled “Teach/Corrupt,” this week’s episode is all about sending Osha down the path to become Qimir’s new pupil. That also involves discarding Mae, which is ironic, considering the pain of being cast aside is what bonds Osha and Qimir. Speaking of Mae, she’s on Sol’s ship where her little ruse does not last very long. Also, so it doesn’t get lost in all the naked stuff, Lee Jung-jae continues to bring it week after week with a tortured, yet calmly badass performance. While Manny Jacinto is easily the much-needed sizzle, Lee Jung-jae is hands down the MVP.

But, also, the naked stuff.

In the midst of all the pupil swapping, Vernestra Rwoh (Rebecca Henderson) is seen dealing with some more political maneuvering as the Republic Senate wants an investigation into the Jedi Order’s operations. It’s expected to be nothing more than routine as the Jedi are always “transparent,” which may not be entirely accurate. Case in point, Vernestra is personally conducting the inquiry into how Sol’s entire team ended up dead on Khofar. An inquiry which is starting to point to Sol as the prime suspect seeing as he’s the only Jedi powerful enough to kill everyone on the mission.

Of course, we know who the real culprit is because he’s busy seducing the hell out of Osha and showing off his nifty helmet. For the real fans who have opened themselves to this show and its neat little bag of tricks, Qimir actually name drops “cortosis,” which has some massive implications that we’ll get to in a bit.

As for Mae and Sol, we’re finally about to learn what the heck he’s been hiding for 16 years as he finally unburdens his soul to one of the twins, and it’s probably not going to be pretty.

Mike Drops:

— Last week, I chose not to comment on the theories about Qimir’s true identity. It’s unavoidable now. For starters, the Knights of Ren theory just took a swerve. Qimir specifically mentions the Rule of Two, and it’s clear from his injuries and cryptic responses that he’s determined to overthrow the master who caused them as Sith are wont to do.

On that note, I’m not onboard with the Vernestra theory because his scars look more like a lightning bolt than a whiplash:

To make this a very long bullet point, the most significant reveal is when Osha noticed the vein of cortosis leading into Qimir’s cave. From the Wookieepedia entry for the planet Bal’demnic, and haha yeah, this episode sure has been one:

Bal’demnic was an ocean planet adorned with rocky tropical islands in the Bak’rofsen system of the Auril sector, located within the Outer Rim Territories. The hostility of its native Kon’me species, together with its extremely harsh climate, discouraged most people from ever visiting the planet, despite the beauty of its giant rock cliffs, pristine beaches, and vast azure oceans. It was mostly of interest to cartographers, xenobiologists, and fisherfolk, until knowledge of the planet’s rich deposits of cortosis ore fell into the hands of Sith Lords Darth Tenebrous and Darth Plagueis.

The big theory is that Qimir is either Darth Plagueis, best known as Emperor Palpatine’s former master, or Darth Tenebrous, who was Plagueis’ master. The cortosis business puts either one of them in play. Believe it or not, I actually had sex in college. Don’t ask me how, but if I had to guess, a wizard did it?

— I like how you can fix things in Star Wars by turning them off then turning them back on again. I did not like how you can just factory reset Pip. He had feelings, goddammit!

— Leslye Headland seriously went into this episode like, “What’s the Star Wars movie these nerds hate the most? OK great. Make Manny get naked in it.” Lol lmao.