Tell Your Disappointment to Suck It. I'm Doing a Bottle Episode.
By Dustin Rowles |
TV
|
November 12, 2010
Community (Grade: A)
“Are we going to the puppy parade or not, because this is starting to feel like a bottle episode.”
I wouldn’t do that. I hate bottle episodes. They’re wall to wall facial expressions and emotional nuance. I might as well sit in the corner with a bucket on my head.”
“Mother hen? I think we’re about the same age. / Sure, unless time is linear. / I’ll make your ass linear. / That doesn’t make any sense. / I’ll make your ass sense.”
“Tell your disappointment to suck it. I’m doing a bottle episode. “
(Jeff, asked if he has a bag) “I could never deprive the world the portion of my chest the strap would cover. “
(Abed, sarcastically) “I want to say thank you for doing this to me. For a while I thought I’d have to suffer through a puppy parade, but I much prefer being entombed alive in a mausoleum of feelings I can neither understand or reciprocate.”
“Are they seriously marketing pregnancy tests to black women?”
“I’m worried we’ve gone too far. This is how supervillains are created.”
“Can’t you just make an inspiring Winger speech about trust, throw in a few digs at an easy celebrity target, and put a ribbon on this thing?”
30 Rock (Grade A-)
“OM God, those jeans are zing.” / “This online slang dictionary says it short for amazing. Or it’s a club drug made from a tooth whitener.”
“And Cable Town still has an auxiliary button on their remote. What does that do? It just makes the screen go blue.”
(Tracy) “As you know, I was in a film called Hard to Watch.”
“If we have to have a government, make it as small as possible. Dwarves. Tiny buildings. Pizza bagels for lunch.”
“I trust awards shows. They tell me how much to care about different dead people.”
“If they could be bribed, I’d have won a Golden Globe for my Lifetime movie, Sister, Can You Spare a Breast.
(Re: the Youth Vote) “Our generation never votes. It interferes with us talking about ourselves all the time.”
“That movie gave me drunk-in-the-bathtub face.”
“You were right about Brooklyn without Limits. Crunch on the outside. Right-wing nutjob on the inside.” / “Like Ann Coulter’s underwear.”
“I’ll be furious. Like, waking up next to Rob Schneider furious.”
“Ah! Lesbian Mario Brothers!”
“Compromises are for lesser souls. Die, Werewolf Zombie!
“Letting morality get in the way of money?! I just oughta go be a … teacher.”
I don’t know what Tastetations are, but the Liz Lemon line about them provoked Mrs. Pajiba-hyphenate into a full half-hour of laughter.
The Office (Grade: C-)
“Wow, so much Asian stuff. I wonder if there’s a guy in China right now looking at a bunch of our stuff.”
“Which one’s Glee?”
