Testicle Tanner is something I never thought I would have to write. Maybe if I were at a summer camp? Some other kid has a wardrobe malfunction, and now everyone calls him Testicle Tanner for the rest of the summer? I guess, in that context, there would have to be some sort of summer camp paper. I probably shouldn’t call him that in a paper that everyone would see. That seems rude. My point is, the likelihood of me writing Testicle Tanner would be slim, were it not for Tucker Carlson.
Carlson recently released a “documentary” about the decline of American testosterone. If that sounds insufferable, and it should, you’ll be happy to learn that part of the doc included a pitch for testicle tanning. Men hold their fellas in front of some sort of specially designed lamp and it makes them more manly. That’s the pitch, and it’s just as ridiculous as it sounds. It’s so insane that even Kid Rock couldn’t get behind it!
Next guest up for Tucker is Kid Rock, who seems befuddled by the previous segment on testicle tanning. Tucker tries to get him to take it seriously, but even Kid is confused. pic.twitter.com/UFowYYFvdZ— Ron Filipkowski 🇺🇦 (@RonFilipkowski) April 17, 2022
Rock isn’t the only one who isn’t on board with Tucker’s nonsense. Stephen Colbert kicked off his latest show by lambasting the experimental treatment. The best part is that Colbert’s bit doesn’t feel far off from what Tucker is promising. It’s so batsh*t that it wouldn’t take much to convince me that it’s a scam. Tucker has just reached the bottom of the barrel with his audience. He wants to see how far he can get them to go.