There are four basic rules to live one’s life by: You don’t tug on Superman’s cape. You don’t spit into the wind. You don’t pull the mask off the Ol’ Lone Ranger. And you do not steal from Conan O’Brien! Yet, here we are. Conan’s return from a brief hiatus was soured by the fact that someone stole equipment from his Largo Theater set! Thanks, Obama!
At first, you might assume that Conan and his sidekick Andy Richter are being facetious when they claim that someone stole their stuff. They start things off in a way that seems like the joke is coming, but it never does. O’Brien even brings in his longtime field producer Jason Chillemi to say that several laptops and a slate were among the stolen items.
I’m not assuming that I’m going to get any answers out of this but, burglar, if you’re reading this, HOW DARE YOU?!? Casting aside the fact that robbing a theater during a time when theaters are struggling is already pretty damn despicable. You have the NERVE to steal from Conan O’Brien?! Look at Andy Richter’s face:
Is this what you wanted?!
Conan was able to continue the show because on top of being a treasure to late-night comedy, he’s also a professional, but this won’t be taken lying down! In the words of Terry Benedict from Ocean’s 11, “Run and hide.” Because I want to find you and show you what happens when you steal from a made man!… I think I’m mixing movie references now but you get the point.
Also, I need someone to drive me to LA ‘cause I am not getting on a plane right now. Either way, I’ll probably quarantine for a couple days just to be safe. So, in about two weeks’ time, you better WATCH OUT!
Header Image Source: TBS