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kelce-snl.jpeg

'SNL' Highlights: Travis Kelce and the Best Please Don't Destroy To Date

By Dustin Rowles | TV | March 5, 2023 |

By Dustin Rowles | TV | March 5, 2023 |


kelce-snl.jpeg

This is one of those episodes where the more screentime they give the host, the better it was.

Cold Open — Fox & Friends tries to explain lying about election conspiracies by suggesting that the private texts were taken out of context while the Pillow Guy continues to rail against Dominion. It feels more obligatory than funny, and for an issue with this many teeth, it should have had much more bite. Watch Here. (Score: 4 out of 10)

Travis Kelce Monologue — For those who don’t know, Kelce is the tight end for the Kansas City Mahomes. He’s Gronkowski-like: Goofy but infinitely likable. The monologue bears that out. Also, what was it like for him to beat his brother in the Super Bowl? “Awkward. Especially because their mom had to drive them home.” He is delightful, and he gets a little choked up like all truly masculine men. I think this episode is gonna be more Peyton than Brady! (Suck it, Mat). (Score: 7 out of 10)

American Girl Cafe — While other parents take their daughters to the American Girl Cafe, Kelce plays a character who just goes by himself. He orders wine and a giant steak, and the staff worries that he’s a creeper. Nope. He’s just really into American Girl dolls. Kelce makes it work. (Score: 6.5 out of 10)

Please Don’t Destroy — The guys are moving earlier into the show. Here, they’re getting bullied by the SNL interns, so they sign up for Kurt Lighnting’s (Kelce) self-defense class. I’m not going to spoil the twist, but it’s my favorite kind of sketch (think Peyton throwing footballs at little kids). It’s also the Mat sketch of the week. Looking forward to dinner tonight, Mat! (Score: 8 out of 10)

Mama’s Funeral — Kelce plays a character who was sleeping with the older lady who dies, and he brings the corpse to the funeral, poses her as she was in life (holding a 2-liter with a pack of cigarettes), and put a pull string on her back. Dumb as hell, but it’s OK. (Watch Here) (Score: 5 out of 10)

Straight Male Friend Ad — After hanging out with women constantly, Bowen’s gay character occasionally needs a “straight male friend” (Kelce) to provide a break from all the drama. (Score: 7.5 out of 10)

Ex-Girlfriend — Heidi plays an obsessed woman who runs into her ex (Kelce) and his fiancée, and she tries to play it cool while half a gallon of tears are shooting out of her face. A decent skit with a fun twist. (Score: 5.5 out of 10)

Weekend Update — Dilbert himself speaks about the racism of Scott Adams — he is ready for the Race Wars. Meanwhile, Punkie Johnson and Mikey Day talk about the Oscars, except that Punkie Johnson has no idea who any celebrities are and so they play a very Tig Notaro-like game. As for “Update,” the political jokes are fine, but as usual of late, the non-political jokes are where Che and Jost are excelling. Sarah Sherman also ends on “The Sarah News,” which again is an entire segment delightfully mocking Colin. (Score: 7.5 out of 10)

Family Meeting — An older couple sing a song to their kids about how Mom sleeps with another man and Dad watches from the corner. Meh. (Watch Here) (Score: 4.5 out of 10)

Hinge Date — Heidi blows off a date she met on Hinge to sleep with Kelce, and Garrett (Yang) — the creepy date from Hinge — shows up at her house, finds them in bed, and wonders, “Why did you blow me off?” The back half is running out of steam because SNL should feature only one musical performance, and end with “Update” after one hour. (Watch Here) (Score: 4.5 out of 10)

Too Hot to Handle — This is a parody of Too Hot for Handle. For those who don’t know, it’s a Netflix reality show where a group of hot people loses money if they can’t abstain from having sex. And yet, they are banning Drag Shows in Tennessee because Drag Shows are the problem? (Watch Here) (Score: 4 out of 10)

NFL Gives Back — In this Cut for Time sketch, NFL players lift women for their boyfriends because sometimes, women like to feel small and get thrown around. (Score: 6.5 out of 10)