"Re-elect Jan Cooper, Mayor of Whoreville," and the Other Best Lines from NBC's Thursday Night Comedies
Community (A. But my favorite part? Busy Phillips and Dan Byrd from “Cougar Town” in the celebratory crowd scene. FULL CIRCLE)
“Denny’s is for winners.”
“Those guys are ballers yo. I hope you like getting balled.”
“First of all, pop pop. Second of all, Magnitude is a one-man party. A one-man party can’t be in an alliance. That’s a paradox.”
“Ask yourself this question: What does liberal arts really mean?”
“We could just take Anthro 201.” // “Too risky. Sequels are almost always a disappointment.”
“Gabe was a great guy who has so many wonderful qualities, but it was a challenge being touched by him.”
“You’re pre-fired! And when I am promoted, you’ll be full fired!” // “If you get promoted, and if you haven’t fallen in love with me by then.”
Parks and Recreation (A+ first episode (the first A+ given here since “Modern Warfare”). A- second episode)
(I wish there were also a GIF of Chris playing air banjo).
“Sounds like you took a snake and twisted it like a rag until its blood and guts came out.”
On Jonothan Franzen’s Freedom: “Why am I reading this?” // “Because I’m almost done with it, Ann, and I want to talk to you about Patty!”
“I won’t publicly endorse a product unless I use it exclusively. My only official recommendations are U.S. Army issued mustache trimmers, Morton’s salt, and the C.R. Lawrence Fein two inch axe-style scraper oscillating knife blade.”
“Chlamydia affects nearly 100% of Jan Coopers.” // “The Department of Health congratulates Jan Cooper, Miss Chlamydia 2011.” // “Re-elect Jan Cooper, Mayor of Whoreville.”
“Everyone steals. My favorite movie is Love Don’t Cost a Thing with Nick Cannon. Which is based on Can’t Buy Me Love, which is based on Kramer vs. Kramer, or something, which I think was Shakespeare.
“That is the most sexual tension I’ve ever seen in a conversation about documents.”
“I’m allergic to fingers.”
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