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Ranking CBS's New Offerings Based on their Trailers from Interesting to Weak Procedural Bullsh*t

By Dustin Rowles | TV | May 15, 2014 |

By Dustin Rowles | TV | May 15, 2014 |


Extant (Wednesday starting in July) — Halle Berry goes on a solo mission to space, and somehow comes home … pregnant. Plus, she has a robot human son who actually feels love. There’s some interesting sci-fi concepts here, but who knows if it will play well on CBS. It does look interesting, though, especially for a summer series.

Madam Secretary (Sundays 8 p.m.) — Teo Leoni balances her career as a Secretary of State and her family life. It has a certain fifth season, post-Sorkin West Wing feel and should actually play well paired with The Good Wife.

The McCarthys (Thursdays, 9:30) — Big dumb Boston family who loves and hates each other. One of the brothers is gay, and the other brother is Joe from New Kids on the Block. It looks like a CBS sitcom, which is to say: Don’t care.

NCIS: Los Angeles New Orleans — Happy to see that Scott Bakula has a regular gig, but I couldn’t possibly care about another NCIS spin-off.

Stalker — Basically, Law & Order: Stalker Unit. The opening scene in the clip has a stalker torching a woman. Pass.

Scorpion (Mondays, 9 p.m.) — Procedural. Tech geeks working with Homeland Security. Boring.