Michael Keaton Hosts 'SNL' with the Best 'Update' of the Season

Cold Open — Alec Baldwin features in this week’s Cold Open as Bret Baier, or what a “businessman looks like in Minecraft.” The thing about the Cold Open is that it’s only a slightly exaggerated — if that — version of reality, where Kamala Harris gives good answers while being constantly interrupted and being hit with wrong or out-of-context clips while Donald Trump is off dancing to YMCA or telling a Univision town hall that January 6th was a day of love. Mostly, it’s hard to watch this and not think the thing that we’v all been thinking for the last three months: How is this close? (Score: 6.5 out of 10)

Michael Keaton — They literally couldn’t find a way to shoehorn Andy Samberg’s Doug Emhoff into the cold open this week, so he’s out here with Mikey Day dressed as Beetlejuice for what is an okay monologue. Who doesn’t love Michael Keaton, who is now one of a handful of people who has appeared on SNL on four different decades. (Score: 4.5 out of 10)

Shop TV — It’s one joke — they’re selling a Zombie Eye cookie that looks like a woman’s breast — but it’s a decent joke, and they get a lot of mileage out of it. And it’s the Mat skit of the week because he really likes … cookies. (Score: 5.5 out of 10)

Please Don’t Destroy — They’re back for the first time this season. And they’re skydiving. But everyone has really bad vibes about jumping out of the plan. They’re second-guessing themselves, and maybe that’s appropriate this time. It wasn’t really worth the wait, guys. (Score: 4.5 out of 10)

Forbidden Romance — This is not a good skit, but the idea is funny: It’s 1955 in Detroit. A mixed couple wants to marry, but the white family is dubious. The Black family wants to hear them out, at which point the white guy sings “Soul Sister” by Train. In its entirety. The white family is sold! The Black family (and the bride-to-be) are like, “Uh, no thanks!” And that’s the whole skit. It’s funny because that song is terrible but not funny enough to sustain a 5 minute skit. (Watch Here) (Score: 3 out of 10)

TikTok — The show has done this once before: They basically just create a 4-minute TikTok scroll full of random goodness. This is what it feels like to scroll TikTok. It’s a fun watch. (Score: 6.5 out of 10)

Weekend Update — The “Update” political jokes are particularly good this week, and they had plenty from the real world with which to work. Meanwhile, Emile Wakim! Welcome. You’ve made it onto “Update,” and therefore, we will use your name from now on! That’s two of three of the new cast members: Wakim, Jane Wickline, and that other person. And Wakim is fantastic, although the bit is clearly from a stand-up set about how he’s Christian Lebanese. His father — a first-generation American — made it so hard that he’s now Republican, and maybe if we’d stop bombing the Middle East, the people there would have enough time to consider their sexual orientation. And then Sarah Sherman — talking about the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, but mostly talking about her busted underwear and making fun of Colin Jost — is the absolute cherry on top of the best “Update” this season. (Score: 8.5 out of 10)

Uber Game Show — Two folks catching a ride to the airport end up stuck in a game show presented by the driver, who is a conspiracy theorist. Eh. (Watch Here) (Score: 4 out of 10)

Horror Choreographer — Here, Michael Meyers is being trained to stab by a very gay choreographer, which leads to the expected results. Eek. (Watch Here) (Score: 2.5 out of 10)

Tableside — It’s a good thing that “Update” was so good because the back half was not. Here, a customer and a waitress reminisce about old flames. I’m not even sure what the joke is. (Watch Here) (Score: 1.5 out of 10)

Average Score: 4.7 — It’s hard to top last week’s episode with Ariana Grande. The show doesn’t often do four episodes in a row, either, and it shows. Great update, though, which kept it slightly ahead of the Jean Smart season premiere.