Spring is in the air, vaccines are getting into arms — yet despite all the very good reasons we have for going out, the streamers are offering up some pretty compelling excuses to stay on our couches this month. And no, I’m not just talking about Marvel’s M.O.D.O.K. (though personally, yes I am absolutely almost exclusively talking about Marvel’s M.O.D.O.K., duh, it’s STOP MOTION ANIMATED Y’ALL).
Tenet: Did you skip seeing Christopher Nolan’s latest mind-bender in theaters during a pandemic? Yeah, me too. Anyway, our patience has finally paid off because now it’s available on HBO Max.
Star Wars: The Bad Batch: Launching on May The Fourth (Be With You), Disney+’s latest animated entry in the Star Wars universe is a Clone Wars spinoff that will also feature a very familiar face (well, voice) from The Mandalorian. After the jumbo 70-minute premiere, regular episodes will continue on Fridays starting May 7th.
Girls5eva: Sara Bareilles, Renée Elise Goldsberry, Busy Philipps, and Paula Pell star as the members of a one-hit wonder girls group from the 1990s who decide to get the band back together for a second chance at stardom. The show is created by Meredith Scardino, who has previously written on Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, SNL, and The Colbert Report. (Peacock)
That Damn Michael Che: From racial profiling to falling in love, Michael Che’s new comedy series is about experiencing everyday situations from his perspective. But with some help! The show also features Cecily Strong, Heidi Gardner, Colin Quinn, Ellen Cleghorne, Colin Jost, Omari Hardwick, Geoffrey Owens, Godfrey, Billy Porter and Method Man. All 6 episodes are available to stream on the same day. (HBO Max)
From Cradle To Stage: Look, I’m not gonna sugarcoat this. This is a docuseries in which Dave Grohl and his mom going on a road trip to talk to other rock star moms. It’s AGGRESSIVELY adorable, and timed for Mother’s Day, and… did I mention it’s directed by human hardcore marshmallow Dave Grohl? (Paramount+)
Shrill (Season 3): Aidy Bryant’s great comedy is entering its final season this month. After dumping her childish boyfriend at the end of last season, is Annie finally on track find the happiness she’s been looking for in work and life? (Hulu)
Jupiter’s Legacy: Netflix may no longer the home of Marvel’s more serious television fare, but that doesn’t mean it’s out of the superhero game entirely. This month it’s launching a new Mark Millar joint, about aging superheroes trying to prepare their kids to be the next gen protectors of humanity. Or… something. I dunno, I’m stuck on old man Josh Duhamel honestly.
Castlevania (Season 4): It’s the final season for this silly vampire video game cartoon show, and frankly I shall miss it. (Netflix)
Hacks: If I had to pick one show that doesn’t involve an animated floating murderous Patton Oswalt to highlight this month, I’d have to go with this one. Sure, I’d be excited for any show that gives Jean Smart the spotlight she so richly deserves, but Hacks just may offer a scenario worthy of its star. Smart plays Deborah Vance, a legendary Las Vegas comedian, who brings on a talented twentysomething writer to help her freshen up her act. It’s being described as a story of “dark mentorship” and I really wanna know how dark it gets. (HBO Max)
The Underground Railroad: Academy Award® winner Barry Jenkins directs every episode of this limited series adaptation of Pulitzer Prize-winning novel by Colson Whitehead. Thuso Mbedu stars as Cora, a young woman who attempts to flee slavery in the deep South using the Underground Railroad — in this case an ACTUAL underground railroad. The series also stars Joel Edgerton, William Jackson Harper, and Lily Rabe. (Amazon Prime)
Halston: Ewan McGregor stars as the eponymous fashion designer, but it’s Rory Culkin as (checks notes) Batman & Robin director Joel Schumacher that really has my attention. (Netflix)
The Woman In The Window: Amy Adams sees Julianne Moore get killed. Or DID SHE?! This thriller about maybe not staring into other people’s houses is directed by Joe Wright (Atonement) and also stars Gary Oldman, Brian Tyree Henry, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Anthony Mackie, and US Agent himself, Wyatt Russell! (Netflix)
Those Who Wish Me Dead: Angelina Jolie protects a traumatized boy from mysterious assailants (Littlefinger and About A Boy). Meanwhile Jon Bernthal is also there but maybe as the good guy? Directed by Taylor Sheridan, this one is in theaters and on HBO Max on the same day.
Marvel’s M.O.D.O.K.: WE MADE IT! Phew, let’s talk about this. It’s, um… about a floating murder dude, voiced by Patton Oswalt. Only he’s stop motion animated, kinda like Robot Chicken. And yeah, he’s a Marvel comics villain, but the show is about his crumbling marriage and midlife crisis. But funny! After The Falcon And The Winter Soldier, we’ve EARNED some funny.
Army of the Dead: ZACK SNYDER’S LAS VEGAS ZOMBIE HEIST! David Bautista plays, and I quote, “a former zombie war hero who’s now flipping burgers on the outskirts of the town,” blah blah Hiroyuki Sanada blah blah impenetrable vault blah blah 200 million dollars blah blah zombie horde. Look, I don’t need the details. Just give it to me. (In select theaters and on Netflix)
Solos: Another high concept anthology series about human connection, but THIS one stars Anne Hathaway, Nicole Beharie, Helen Mirren, Uzo Aduba, Anthony Mackie, Constance Wu, Dan Stevens, and Morgan Freeman. (Amazon Prime)
Cruella: Emma Stone stars as Disney’s puppy coat-loving villain, but before she turned evil! Also, maybe Emma Thompson had something to do with it! (In theaters and on Disney+ with premier access)
Lucifer: Season 5 Part 2: Tom Ellis is very, very charming, and Dennis Haysbert is excellent God-casting. I mean, he’s no Chuck, but still — I dig it. (Netflix)