As were easing back into the week after the holiday (Happy Labor Day, comrades!), we need to talk about the huge revelation from this week’s episode of Insecure: Lawrence is an asshole. I know, I know. A lot of people love him. A lot of people here love him. But the guy’s an asshole. Like a great-big-giant-selfish asshole. Like didn’t-realize-You’re-The-Worst-premieres-tonight-and-is-on-the-wrong-show asshole. Like hasn’t-managed-to-have-even-a-second-of-insight-in-nearly-two-seasons asshole. The guy’s not my favorite, is what I’m saying.
But let’s address the elephant in the room first: Issa cheated on him. No one writing this post aka me is interested in denying or excusing that. More importantly, Issa, the actual character who did the cheating, isn’t interested in denying or excusing it. She fucked up. She knows she fucked up, and she attempted to make it better. And when things didn’t break her way on that, Issa tried to move on like an adult. So let’s just make sure we’re all on exactly the same page: Issa betrayed Lawrence’s trust, she broke her commitment to him, and admits how bad of a mistake she made.
And none of those things mean Lawrence didn’t fuck up a shitton, too. Notice I didn’t say he deserved to be cheated on. I said he fucked up, too. That’s an important distinction to make when examining something as important as the demise of a five-year romantic relationship. And if Lawrence had the mental clarity/emotionally maturity to really assess how he’d behaved during his relationship, he might be willing to admit he’d been taking Issa for granted for years.
As a quick reminder, I am, again, not arguing that Lawrence’s behavior justified Issa’s cheating. But here’s the difference: Issa did a bad thing, and Lawrence is pissed at her. Lawrence did a bad thing and responds by accusing Issa of cheating on him throughout their relationship. Because he’s an asshole. He’s retroactively absolving himself of any relationship sins he committed because hers is more quickly identifiable. Spending the night with someone other than your exclusive partner is a clear-cut infraction. Spend three years’ worth of nights ignoring the wants and needs of your girlfriend, who is supporting you while you “work on your app,” might not be as definitive, but it’s sure as fuck as destructive.
Not that Lawrence needed to have a job to be a good boyfriend. He just needed to be putting forth some sort of effort in terms of their happiness. He could have cooked or cleaned or done the shopping. He could have made sure her emotional and physical needs were being met. He could have remembered her goddamn birthday. And when he realized he’d forgotten her birthday, he could have acknowledged it was a bigger fuck up than he was admitting. Honestly, if Lawrence were able to achieve any degree of introspection, he might have realized that part of the reason that his career wasn’t taking off, his friendships had deteriorated, his girlfriend wanted to break up with him, his rebound girlfriend did break up with him, and he accidentally brought a plus one to a formal sit down dinner (even though you know goddamn well Tiffany made the details of the evening very clear) is because he’s refused to put any degree of effort into any area of his life for the past few years. For fuck’s sake, he claimed that he “got his shit together” for Issa as though that’s something other than the bare goddamn minimum that you expect from a fully formed adult.
So actually, Issa made a couple of bad mistakes. She cheated on Lawrence, and she should have dumped his ass a couple years ago.