Lawrence Welk Cold Open

The only thing I can say about the Cold Open is that it wasn’t a lame political one. But it was lame.

Elton John Monologue

A lot of boomer deprecation. Not inspired, but not terribly embarrassing. Kind of hits all that Elton John notes, which is good or bad, depending on how you feel about Elton John.

ESPN Classic: Ladies Shot Put

The ESPN segments are always great, although given the reception that Will Forte gets here, I wonder if anyone even realized he left the show last year? The sport: Track and field. The sponsor: KY Jelly. “No foreplay today? Hey, that’s OK! KY Jelly!” Also, there’s a cameo from a basketball player and Tom fucking Hanks.

Knights of The Realm

All those contemporary celebrities that the English monarchy has knighted? Now, they’re called in to battle a dragon. Good premise, but Tom Hanks’ Michael Caine impression steals it. The dig at Spider-man: The Musical is also pretty great.

Digital Short: Laser Cats, The Musical

Still don’t really understand the appeal of Laser Cats, and here it’s still in the tiresome phase right before it’s so done to death it becomes amusingly absurd.

Weekend Update

As always, Seth Meyers’ headlines are the only reason to watch Weekend Update, and fortunately, this week there’s a full three-and-a-half minutes, which you can watch here without being interrupted by two bad segments.

I will throw in Nic Cage and Jake Gyllenhaal’s segment though, because look! Jake Gyllenhaal. He has two lines in three minutes. And he still stares at the cue cards.

The Silver Screen

Two bitchy gay film critics? Where have we seen this? Two snaps and a talk to the hand. At least these guys make out a lot.

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Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.