I Just Learned Some Crypto Lingo Thanks To Conan O’Brien

By Andrew Sanford | TV | May 18, 2021 |

By Andrew Sanford | TV | May 18, 2021 |

I know very little about cryptocurrency. The only crypto I’m familiar with is when I was once very publicly called a cryptozoologist (just ask Wikipedia). In my defense, any time someone has tried to explain it to me they’ve been vaping and wearing a cowboy hat, so I’ve tuned out. Between Bitcoin and Doja Cat there’s too much to keep track of, but I still want to seem hip to the jive, ya dig? Thanks to Conan I’m one step closer!

In a new sketch, Conan spoke to a Redditor who kept encouraging him to “Buy The Dip.” At first, I was confused. To be frank, I’m probably still a little confused? However, my unbearable need to be liked and my aversion to doing any real research has left me still wanting to know what’s going on. What does “Buy The Dip” MEAN?! Going off context clues, here is my guess.

Buying The Dip is when the cryptocurrency has “dipped” (eh?) in price and you buy it to raise that price back up.

Eh?! Did I get it?? Am I cool now??? WILL YOU LOOK AT ME?!

You may think that basing my knowledge on guesswork and comedy sketches is pretty irresponsible and you would be correct. But dammit, I’ve been taught, one way or another, by Conan O’Brien since I was a small boy and feel rightly embiggened by my perfectly cromulent education.