I Don’t Want to Go (Through This Again, ‘Doctor Who’)

By Kaleena Rivera | TV | December 8, 2023 |

By Kaleena Rivera | TV | December 8, 2023 |

When the Doctor’s inevitable regeneration occurs, the near-ceremonious handing of the role from one actor to another is almost always preceded by a memorable parting line. Some are said in the spirit of triumph (“Rose, before I go, I just wanna tell you, you were fantastic. Absolutely fantastic. And do you know what? So was I!”) and some are intended as graceful acceptance (“Laugh hard. Run fast. Be kind. Doctor…I let you go”). But for my money, the most heart rending has to be when David Tennant, the much beloved Tenth Doctor, delivered his plaintive, “I don’t want to go,” during his final moments. Though Matt Smith’s run followed with great success, Tennant’s time in the role was always looked on with fond wistfulness.

So when Jodie Whitaker, a wonderful Doctor who was bogged down with writing issues, finally came to the end of her tenure (with a keen, “Oh brilliant!”), fans received the shock of their lives when she regenerated not as incoming Doctor Ncuti Gatwa but as David Tennant once again, a revelation quickly followed up by the news that Tennant would briefly occupy the role of Fourteenth Doctor for three 60th anniversary specials. Anticipating these specials has made for a glorious time, especially when it was announced that the Tenth-cum-Fourteenth Doctor would be reunited with fan favorite Donna Noble (Catherine Tate), a companion whose time came to a rather sad end even if a peaceful life eventually came of it. Here was the chance for this Doctor, an all-time favorite for many of us, to have another chance at adventure and companionship.

But like a wish out of a fable, this one has come at a cost. Because for all of the joy at seeing Tennant say his signature, “Allons-y!” or run with glee throughout a newly revamped TARDIS, tomorrow it’s going to come to an end once the finale of his three-episode arc airs, and I, for one, am miserable over it.

“The Star Beast” had its flaws—I found some of the writing clunky though forgivable, as Doctor Who has always had an inclination to lean towards cheesy when chance allows—but it was largely delightful (count me among the gullible who was shocked at the villain reveal), especially seeing how the Fourteenth Doctor permits himself to not just love but to express it willingly. With the reconciliation and the “Donna will die if she gets her memory back” plot knot now out of the way, “Wild Blue Yonder” was a return back to form, with the Doctor and Donna abandoned literally at the edge of space with a pair of darkly comic clones. I expected these episodes to be wild fun, along with a few tears shed, of course, especially with the knowledge that actor Bernard Cribbins, who portrayed the widely-adored Wilf, was able to film a cameo before his death in 2022, but such is the emotional ride that which is Doctor Who.

What I could never have anticipated was that, for all my love for the Tenth Doctor, I would love Fourteen so much more. I adore his wisdom and his immense softness (I will never emotionally recover from that hand-kiss, never). I even love his sadness as he attempts to come to grips with the considerable trauma that’s been dealt to him over the past fifteen years, a point well made in a scene when the Doctor, experiencing a moment of relief at having another person understand his pain and isolation, has his heart shattered upon discovering he was fooled by Fake Donna (note the look of agonized betrayal on Tennant’s face when he rears back from the creature on the ground, it’s extraordinary).

I want this to last. I want multiple seasons with dozens of episodes that can allow for this marvelous being to embrace life and the universe and the ability to pursue the lingering mysteries of his existence. But I can’t, and I will simply have to deal with it.

I have no doubt in my mind that Ncuti Gatwa is going to be lovely as the Fifteenth Doctor. I suspect his run will take this story to sensational places and invite in a whole new generation of fans just like each Doctor before him. But his arrival is going to be searingly bittersweet, because it’ll be the last time we’ll see the face of Ten/Fourteen—I genuinely believe this will indeed be the last time Tennant will don the proverbial Doctor cap; despite the show’s timey wimeyness, this isn’t a hat trick you can pull off twice (technically three times counting “The Day of the Doctor”). Though I’ve been mourning in advance, I will try to seek consolation in the strong possibility that, with things set as right as they can be—Donna in full realization of who she is, along with daughter Rose (Yasmin Finney)—Fourteen will be ready to go this time. Yes, tears will still be shed but the emotional loose ends will be tied, and it’s there that we’ll be able to come to a place of acceptance. With that, there’s only one thing left to do: Allons-y.

Kaleena Rivera is the TV Editor for Pajiba. When she isn’t fending of her grief by avoiding trailers for “The Giggle,” she can be found on Bluesky here.