It’s a new year but the same old “American Horror Story.” Well, with one minor difference. Glorious Technicolor Dance Sequence! We’ll get to that later. But first, here are a few things we learned this week.
Pepper Is The BEST: I had no idea the character was going to pay off in this way, but I’m so glad she did. Allegedly, the aliens have given Pepper “a voice,” and she’s not wasting it. Also, Grace had her Kit baby. More on that in a bit.
Oh, Look! A Flying Nun! Well Sister Mary Eunice had quite the final run. Date raping a monsignor, Mary Eunice? Well done, indeed. Ultimately, the Lesser Fiennes took advantage of one of her Sméagol/Gollum moments and pushed her to her death. Nice flash of red as she goes.
Speaking Of Fitting Deaths: We also lost Dr. Arden this episode. In interviews, Ryan Murphy has been QUITE pleased with the whole “we burned the NAZI in an oven” choice. GET IT, GUYS? Anyway, Dr. Arden, heartbroken that his little demon nun f*ckpuppet* was a) a rapist and b) dead, murdered his mutant zombies, climbed on board and took himself out. That’s two major antagonists gone in one episode. There’s three more episodes left and only Bloody Face, Son of Bloody Face, semen-seeking aliens, institutionalized racism, institutionalized homophobia, the mental healthcare system and a rogue Ian McShane to tackle. Yawn.
Lana Is Plucky. PLUCKY I TELL YOU: I really like this girl. I’ve never ever gotten the appeal of Sara Paulson, but I get it now.
Sister Jude Judy Judy Judy Is Not Without Pluck Herself: What, exactly, was she going to do with that cucumber?
Let’s Talk About The Thredson Family: I’m still not convinced this is Lana’s baby. Though it may very well be. I’m still hoping McDermott Mulroney here is actually Grace’s alien baby all grown up. We shall see.
And Then, Of Course, This Happened And Everything Was Beautiful And Nothing Hurt: At first, I was a little disappointed that Sister Mary Eunice’s jukebox wasn’t 100 copies of “Dominique.” But the pay-off for both the jukebox and the long-running “Lana Banana” thing was magnificent. Why did this work? Because Jessica Lange is an absolutely perfect creature sent from the gods. If you watch Paulson and Peters (particularly Peters) you’ll see they have the slightly embarrassed looks of actors who aren’t sure if what they’re participating in will make them look foolish. But Lange? She’s all in. She did that entire song. And it was glorious.
And the entire video, if you’re so inclined: