Holly Saves "The Office," Abed Saves Christmas
Community (Rating: A, maybe the best half hour of Christmas-themed television since “How the Grinch Stole Christmas.”)
“That’s how I knew it was a special Christmas. We’ve entered a whole new medium. “
♫”Sad quick Christmas song.”♫
“Now that you’ve started it, how about ten more seconds on that button, eh?”
“We’re in Outer Christmas space. There’s planet holly. And planet jolly. “
“Everybody stay perfectly sincere. Humbugs are attracted to sarcasm … Wow. Somewhere out there, Tim Burton just got a boner. “
“Do you have any idea what you’re doing? … We’re learning to teleport and we’re helping our friend find the meaning of Christmas. “
“It’s the first season of “Lost” on DVD … That’s the meaning of Christmas? … No. It’s a metaphor. It represents lack of payoff.”
(Bonus Quote: Damon Lindeloff’s Tweet response to the above quote: @damonlindelof: Okay, COMMUNITY. It’s ON!!!! Now if only I had a show to zing you back. And if only you weren’t awesome. Sigh… )
30 Rock (Rating: B)
“Obesity is killing the African-American community … with laughter. “
“Quiet, battered women! A man is talking.”
“I didn’t care for the Gazpacho soup. Where’s the fun in sending it back because it isn’t hot? “
“We all make mistakes. I once French-kissed a dog at a party to impress what turned out to be a very tall 12-year-old boy.”
“Russell Crowe is having an auction to benefit the victims of his own mood swings.”
“Don’t worry, I sent her to the East Wing — it’s very confusing. It was designed by M.C. Escher.”
“You’re going to see poverty. Child abuse. And a bunch of babies having a hammer fight in a dumpster. “
“Can I get you a cup of coffee or an absinthe enema?”
“I dress as Natalie Portman from the movie Black Swan. And you dress as former Pittsburgh Steelers wide receiver and gubernatorial candidate, Lynn Swan. We’re two black swans!”
The Office (Rating: B+)
“Thank you Scranton Strangler! You just took one more person’s breath away.”
“I have no feeling in my fingers or penis, but I think it was worth it. “
“I can’t get anything lately unless I threaten to kill myself.”
“I’m sorry, I can’t help you. I’m waiting for my boss’ pretty lady friend to arrive. “
(Jim, in response to the gift he received from Pam) “I mean … “
“In the end, the greatest snow ball isn’t a snow ball at all. It’s fear. Merry Christmas.”