David Zaslav Hates Movies And TV So Much He's Making This Change To Max

By Andrew Sanford | TV | August 31, 2023 |

By Andrew Sanford | TV | August 31, 2023 |

“What’s that face for,” my wife asked. I was staring at my computer with my head in my hand. “They want to add a news ticker to Max,” I told her. She looked confused. I said, “Yeah, so we’ll watch, like, Succession, and a news ticker could pop up at the bottom.” “Oh,” she said, “HBO Max.” That exchange alone should hip you to the idiocy of network executives. The brand recognition of HBO was done away with, and now David Zaslav and his cronies at WBD are set to make another brain-dead decision.

Warner Brothers Discovery recently revealed that they will add a CNN channel to Max that will run 24/7. Wolf Blitzer will be tied to a chair and intravenously fed nutrients and fluids as he reads off a teleprompter until he dies or his contract runs out (I assume). My dad, a 69-year-old man, will be psyched. He loves CNN and watches it frequently, no matter how much s*** I give him for it. However, ole Zaslav isn’t trying to snare my dad. He thinks adding CNN to Max will attract viewers 30 years his junior, because everything the man does is dumb.

I am 34-years-old. People my age don’t consume news through cable TV unless they’re trapped in a hospital waiting room. I can’t confidently tell you how Millenials depress themselves with news of the day, but I can say with some certainty that cable is not the way. Putting cable news on a streamer isn’t going to change that magically. It’s another tone-deaf, out-of-touch move by a group of tone-deaf, out-of-touch people.

It was reported recently that Zaslav and others like him are surprised that they are seen as bad guys during this strike. That alone should tell you how out of touch Zaslav is. Still, if you want to get more superficial, let’s look at how the man is dressed in the header. Here it is again for reference.

He left his home/yacht/bunker like this. David walked past all of his assistants, butlers, and human chess pieces, and no one said a thing. If anything, someone likely said, “Way to wear your sleeves out past your jacket, boss! That’s totally normal and cool!” He lives in a billionaire bubble. People aren’t telling him words like “no” or even “meh.” Wealth buys praise for the mediocre.

At this point, I wouldn’t be surprised if Zaslav made Max exclusive for people’s phones. The man has a Quibi inside of him just waiting to get out. He isn’t an artist. He seems to detest artistry. Instead, he likes cold hard cash and looking like a toddler who dressed himself for the first time. Bad ideas from a man like this aren’t the exception; they’re the rule.