Charlize Theron Can Thank Jim Parsons for Sparing Her From the Season's Worst 'SNL'

By Dustin Rowles | TV | May 10, 2014 |

By Dustin Rowles | TV | May 10, 2014 |

There is literally no sketch in tonight’s episode worth watching a 30 second preroll to get to it. It was a terrible show from top to bottom. If you have to watch one, the Cold Open is OK and the monologue didn’t inspire me to set fire to anything. The rest of the show? Abominable.

Cold Open — Hillary Clinton and Michelle Obama passive-aggressively snipe over who was the best First Lady in honor of Mother’s Day, and while the sketch is funny, both Sasheer Zamata and Vanessa Bryant do terrible impressions. You need more than the same skin color to pull that off, folks. I just hope that if Hillary runs, they bring back Poehler to do spot Hillary impressions. (Score: 6/10)

Charlize Theron — Here’s interesting twist on the excessive number of song-and-dance monologues: Charlize Theron performs a song-and-dance number about how she can’t sing. I would not call it a funny sketch, or even a good one, but Theron is lovely. (Score: 4/10)

Come Do a Game Show With Your Mom. It Will Be Fun. You Know It Will! — Unhip mom hosts gameshow in which she asks her kids questions about herself. Oh wow: ‘Mom sends email forward’ jokes, and ‘Mom’s on Facebook’ jokes, which is to say: The only people this sketch will appeal to are the very mothers it’s gently (way too gently) making fun of. (Score: 2/10)

Girlfriends — Terrible. Just terrible. (Score: 2/10)

Dragon Babies — Pretaped sketch. A behind-the-scenes look at an animated film in which the lead character is voiced by a retired police officer with a bad cough and a blue-collar attitude. That’s the joke. (Score: 3/10)

Heshy —This may be a recurring sketch. I’m not sure. Either I repressed it the first time, or I’m already starting to repress it out this time. What the hell is going on with this episode? It’s as though it’s comprised entirely of leftover sketches from the Jim Parsons’ episode. (Score: 2/10)

Weekend Update — Basically, I spent the entire segment shaking my head with disgust. Cecily gets a 5, but Colin gets a one for the “Breaking Nudes” joke alone. (Score: 3/10)

Barbara Walters — With Walters retiring, she actually appears to make fun of herself. I wish it were funny, but it really isn’t. It really, really isn’t. (Score: 3/10)

Drunk Uncle — I wish I were drunk. (Score: 4/10)

Bikini Beach Party — A 60’s beach movie set on a beach with an expanding whale. TIMELY. Still not funny, and you could see the punchline from 27 miles away. Don’t bother with the sketch. Just watch the punch line in GIF form. (Score: 3/10)

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Pet Rescue Commercial — Two cat ladies at a rescue shelter make cat puns about unwanted cats. Apparently, there will be no good sketches tonight. (Score: 2/10)

Kyle Mooney 10-1 Sketch — Several of the cast members pretend to be foreigners and ask dumb questions to New Yorkers on the street. I didn’t laugh, but there might have been a moment or two I vaguely considered it. (Score: 4/10)