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I'm Not Gay! I Just Like to Have Sex with Men!

By Melissa McKimmey | TV | January 28, 2010 |

By Melissa McKimmey | TV | January 28, 2010 |

Hi everybody! This week was more of an A, B, and C plot with a few side plots. Let’s just get to it, shall we?

A Plot: Mr. Hendrickson goes to Washington. Bill and a guy we find out is named Lee are walking in Washington DC. Bill’s aiming to get a Utah congressman to endorse him or at least, to not endorse the other guy. Bill gets blown off by the congressman (heh) and goes to his office to harass the staff into getting some face time in. He tries to buy tickets to a fundraiser, but the woman behind the desk in the congressman’s waiting room calls him on being a jerk and shuts him down. The woman behind the desk is played by Sissy Spacek! She will be refered to as S.S. until we get a name. Bill’s bent and has the gall to say gad darn it when he is angry! It’s almost cute when he apologizes to the lady who is also in the waiting room. Almost.

Nicki and Cara Lynn are in DC with Bill. It was supposed to be a romantic trip for Bill and Nicki, but she wanted Cara Lynn to have the chance to be exposed to something beyond the compound. Wouldn’t she just be overwhelmed? D.C. might be a bit much. Bill is actually really sweet to Cara Lynn, calling her sweetheart and kissing her forehead. It reminds me of why I liked Bill to begin with. He has completely accepted Cara Lynn and has made her a part of the family. He may be an idiot and other things, but he can be a kind, thoughtful man. It’s good to get that reminder, since he’s usually a jackass.

Anyway, Bill gets Nicki some rather sexy lingerie. Bill thinks that they need to make with the babies to get their life back on track. And there goes my goodwill for the week. Nice try, Bill. Of course, Margie calls Bill just then with news that Cara Lynn doesn’t have permission from J.J. to be there. No lovin’ for Nicki tonight.

Bill’s decides to try and bluff his way into the congressional fundraiser. Yeah, it goes about as well as you can imagine. After being rebuffed. he walks down the stairs and prays. I’m not religious, but it seems to be the smartest thing he’s done in a while. Especially since it gets him noticed by the lady who was in the waiting room with him earlier and she asks him to escort her into the fundraiser. Score for Bill! He gets his face time and it turns out that S.S. is a high-powered lobbyist Marylin Densham. Apparently she likes Bill’s spunk and tenacity and tells the congressman that he should listen to Bill. Man, if she got that from Bill’s arrogance, I need to pray more. It may have helped that Nicki met her in the ladies’ room and talked Bill up as one of his ‘staffers.’ Yeah, that’s what all the wives are calling it. The congressman agrees to donate to Bill’s campaign but not to endorse either candidate.

Bill leaves the fundraiser to find Nicki in the lobby being arrested. She’s been packing heat around the city and when she and Cara Lynn get into an argument over Nicki abandoning her when she was little, Cara Lynn yells to the security guard that Nicki has the gun in her purse. Aw, she IS just like her mom! Bill talks the police out of arresting her and they actually have a really sweet, sincere talk about Nicki’s fears and guilt over Cara Lynn. It’s nice to see them really talking.

B Plot: Alby gets some lovin’. This was such a great plot line. I am so interested in Alby and what he’s doing and why. Alby, Dale and Alby’s lawyer are working out the problems with the UEB trust. Alby sends the lawyer out and he and Dale get to the making out. There is some major sexual tension between these two. Passionate kissing and and embrace that shows Dale’s wedding ring. Uh-oh!

Alby and and Dale talk, clearly post-sexing. Dale tells Alby they can’t be doing this anymore, that he’s not gay, he’s married. Alby looks surprised for a moment, then tells Dale that he’s not gay, they are just fooling around. And then they start kissing, so apparently they aren’t done fooling around yet. It’s almost sweet to see Alby with someone he likes so much. It makes me wonder if he can be redeemed or what happened to him to make him so awful. And Matt Ross, who is playing Alby, is stupendous. I completely believe every look, kiss, word from that man. He needs nominated for an award, stat.

After all this sexing, they are in bed. It’s cute until Alby takes a picture of himself and Dale, while Dale is asleep. Somehow, I suspect he has a more sinister use for it than Facebook updates. After waking, they give us some expository chat and we learn that Kanas (where J.J. is located, remember) is the new Zion. Dale thinks Alby can reform the church. Huh. Alby must be good. They have a deep talk, for Alby, and he talks about how he feels like he is trapped behind a wall and he wants to break it down and get to where the people are. It sounds a little weird and it gets weirder when Alby has visions of Roman sitting in the chair harassing him about being an abomination. Alby’s inner self-loathing takes the form of his dad. I’m not really surprised. We also see some Alby backside as he’s pulling on his Mormon underwear. I like that they showed that, it’s a nice detail. I’m surprised you don’t notice it under the suits. Also, wouldn’t it get hot and bunchy? Eh, I guess it’s a small price to pay for eternal salvation. I’ve never actually seen the special underwear, but it really does exist. It seems made up, but it’s not.

C Plot: Margie goes QVC crazy. This gets its own description, because it is going to have some major fallout in the household. Plus, it contained the major ‘shocking’ moment.

Margie’s doing well at QVC and gets a shot at a live, prime-time slot. She’s thrilled until she realizes that no one she loves is going to be able to make it there. JoDean (dead Kathy’s sister) has been helping Margie with her jewelry line and was going to go since she and Margie seem to be becoming friends, but Frank calls and demands she return to him. (I totally forgot she was one of Frank’s wives. Damn, this show is complicated!) At showtime, Ben shows up, having ditched out on a Faith +1 gig to support Margie. Out of nowhere, she plants a kiss on him. A serious kiss, not some side cheek action. And then she blows it off with small talk, like it never happened, because even Margie sees how that might not have been a good call. However, her boss saw it and calls Ben Margie’s husband on air. Which is probably going to be a problem, since Barb and Sarah were watching. Also, ew! He’s your stepson, Margie! I don’t care if he is cute and young, the answer is NO.

Side plots: J.J. harasses Wanda and talks to her about getting Roman exhumed because he doesn’t believe that it was a natural death. I guess he figured out that Wanda and Joey were suspiciously gone right after Roman died and stayed away for a while, but he seems to have tied it together awfully easily. I think he suspects Wanda, not Joey, since Wanda has that pesky tried-to-murder-several-people past. I wish she’d kill J.J. Remember the good old days when Wanda would just give someone a glass of antifreeze when they bothered her? J.J. gets under her skin enough that she freaks out and then freaks out Joey and they go to dig up Roman because Joey’s DNA is under Roman’s nails. J.J. explains to his wife (for us viewers) that he was bluffing to see what they did. Man, I hope Joey didn’t get Bill’s stupid genes. In fact, I think Joey is so awesome and sweet that he should be prophet.

J.J. also showed up at Margie’s, looking for Nicki and Cara Lynn. J.J. starts yelling and scaring her and JoDean and Ben shows up and tosses him out and stays on the couch, just in case. J.J. was busy, it seems.

Oh, I almost forgot this one. Barb screws up her relationship with Tommy more than ever by A) having the worst sensitivity training seminar ever (she gets sworn at for her efforts) and B) hitting an Indian woman with her car when she and Sarah were leaving the Casino. (Yes, really.) Tommy tells Barb and Sarah to leave it alone, but Barb just can’t and promises the lady a job. Tommy tells her it’s a bad call, because the lady is into meth and not an ideal employment candidate. Sarah got her mother’s meddling instincts and gives the lady cash (!) and then brings her and her infant home with her. Yeah, this will turnout well.

All in all, a great episode. Alby is becoming the character I most look forward to, because his evolution is so intense and different than you might expect. I also like Cara Lynn; I think having her show up has been good for Nicki. I hope they don’t make her an evil Rhonda 2.0, though. I think the writers are more creative than that.

Ben and Margie? Eh. I think it’ll blow over and there will be tension and it’ll come up again. It seems a little forced, because last season she seemed to be completely for the platonic friendship with him. I am also really liking how the timeline is moving along quickly. It’s nice to not have to see everyone talking about the trip, planning the trip, etc. and getting to see the results instead.

See you next week!

Melissa McKimmey is a mom, wife and grocery merchandiser who spends too much time on the internet and has a Chai tea addiction. She spends most of her time on the internet as TWoP Fan and can be emailed at here.

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