After Episode 4, I Gotta Ask: Do Kids Even Like 'Skeleton Crew?'

Last week, Skeleton Crew got a much-needed, but still way-too-thin, boost of energy thanks to Jude Law’s character finally entering the mix. Law is one of those actors who just exudes charisma, and his Jod/Crimson Jack is the only interesting part of this show. The mystery around his whole deal actually had some momentum, so it was real neat to watch him get shoved into the background for an off-screen adventure this week. I don’t even know why Law is on this show if this is what they’re going to do. We’re now halfway through Skeleton Crew’s run, and the marquee character has appeared in one and a quarter episodes at best.

In Episode 4, the kids land on a world that seems very similar to their home planet of At Attin, except turned to sh*t. There’s still the space suburbs, which looks exactly like their own right down to the houses and school, but clearly much older as everything has been left to rot. The kids make this discovery while leaving Jod back on the ship with SM-33 (Nick Frost). However, the robot seems to recognize the planet and identifies the world as At Achrann, because goddammit, this naming convention is getting even worse. Realizing this planet might also be loaded with treasure, Jod coaxes SM-33 off the ship where they’re immediately captured by one of the warring factions inhabiting the planet.

As for the kids, well, they’re soon scooped up by the other faction for an inert subplot with murky politics. In a nutshell, something clearly went wrong on this planet where the inhabits are left to fight over scraps, which is in stark contrast to At Attin where everyone lives in a comfy homes and kids are running around with gold coins literally falling out of their pants. However, there’s a sanctum that might have some answers, but first, our heroes are enlisted into some light child-soldiering.

Forced to the front lines of the battle, the kids look like they’re about to see some sh*t until Jod magically shows up. Turns out, he simply paid the other faction for stolen eopies that were the cause of this latest skirmish, and everything his hunky-dory. A boring resolution for a boring episode.

With the battle brought to a wet fart of a conclusion, the kids and Jod are shown the way to the sanctum where they discover charts to the other hidden Old Republic planets. Except the coordinates to At Attin are destroyed, and that’s because SM-33 did it the last time he was there. His prior captain gave instructions to erase all traces of At Attin and also pummel to death anyone who starts poking around about it. That would be Fern who successfully bypassed SM-33’s memory wipe, only to turn him into a murder-bot. Some quick maneuvering by Jod disables him, Neel faints, and fade to black on this underwhelming jaunt.

I have been baffled by the positive critical response to Skeleton Crew because, if you can’t tell, I’m not a huge fan. However, I did notice that the worm is starting to turn with this episode. I’ve already seen reviews with words like “cringe” in the headline, and that’s about right. It definitely gives Clone Wars filler episode vibes, and not in a good way. That’s an understandable move in a cartoon series with 20+ episodes, but does not play so well in a live-action series with a mediocre plot. This show has been demanding comparisons to The Goonies, but at least The Goonies had the decency to wrap things up in less than two hours.

That said, I’m not the target audience here, which brings me to my headline. I genuinely want to know how kids are reacting to this show. Are they even watching it? Do they like it? Do they hate it? Is it just OK? I am extremely curious. My son just turned 18, and my daughter is bored to tears by Star Wars, so I can’t work them for reactions.

I know what you’re thinking: “I’m not gonna tell this cranky bastard that my kids love a show that he just crapped all over.” I get it! Trust me, I’m not here to judge. My interest is purely scientific. I am beyond fascinated to know if this thing is connecting or if it’s just floating by like another piece of disposal content. You can hit me in the comments, or feel free to email me.

Am I an idiot for putting my email address out there? You bet! But that’s how much I wanna know what kids think about a Star Wars. (Fun Fact: You can’t just show up in school cafeterias with a notepad. Lessons were learned.)