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5 TV News Items that Will Infinitesimally Alter the Course of Your Existence

By Dustin Rowles | TV | May 7, 2012 |

By Dustin Rowles | TV | May 7, 2012 |

That was the most interesting way I could think to say: Here’s five fluffy news bits. If you have further headline suggestions that sound important but actually mean nothing, please leave them in the comments and I will use the best headline suggestions at a later date (with appropriate credit, of course).

1. Penny Can — Should ABC cancel Courteney Cox’s “Cougar Town” — and it probably will — TBS is prepared to swoop in and pick it up for two more seasons of 15 episodes apiece, just enough to get it into syndication and make Courteney Cox even wealthier. But hey! Dan Byrd could use the money, and with the extra coin, Busy Phillips may finally be able to pursue her lifelong dream: Marrying Bill Haverchuck.

2. Judy, Judy, Judy — George Lindsey, best known as Goober Pyle on “The Andy Griffith Show,” has passed away at the age of 83. Here’s something terribly sweet about the passing — Andy Griffith, on his last phone conversation with Lindsey: “I am happy to say that as we found ourselves in our eighties, we were not afraid to say, ‘I love you.’ That was the last thing George and I had to say to each other. ‘I love you.’”

I don’t know why, but that makes me a little misty.

3. Let’s Go to the Mall — Cobie Smulders, late of Maria Hill fame in The Avengers, and her boyfriend of eight years, “Saturday Night Live’s” Taram Killan, have finally decided to get married. The wedding is planned for September. Did you guys know they had a kid together? Three year old Shaelyn Cado. I have no recollection of a season in “How I Met Your Mother” when her pregnancy was hidden, but good for them.

113238993_c8a4d6a34b_o.jpg4. GIVE ME BACK MY DAUGHTER — Have you caught last night’s “Veep” yet. I know, it’s a tough night with “Game of Thrones,” “Mad Men,” “Girls,” and — if you haven’t seen it already — “Sherlock” to watch, plus “The Borgias” and “The Killing” hahahahaha, so maybe you haven’t watch last night’s episode. When you did catch it, here’s a Fun Fact: The daughter of the vice president is played by Kiefer Sutherland’s daughter, Sarah Sutherland. Now, let’s start throwing baseless claims of nepotism against “Veep,” too.

5. “Goodbye Prudey McPrude and hello Slutty McSluttenstein!” — In an interview with “Meet the Press” yesterday, Vice President Joe Biden — who has a condition known best as foot-in-mouth-disease — seemed to break with the administration’s stated policy and endorsed gay marriage, saying he was “absolutely comfortable with…men marrying men, and women marrying women.” Good for you, Joe (who — seriously — I’m convinced is a bushy mustache away from looking like Sam Elliot). He also credited “Will & Grace” for the public’s increasing acceptable of same-sex marriage.

“When things really began to change is when the social culture changes,” Biden told Meet the Press host David Gregory. “I think Will & Grace probably did more to educate the American public than almost anybody’s ever done so far. People fear that which is different. Now they’re beginning to understand.”

I hate to give credit to something so obvious, but you know what? He’s probably right.

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Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.