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JackGuyver's Got Him Some Duct Tape and a Scowl

By Cindy Davis | TV | March 26, 2010 |

By Cindy Davis | TV | March 26, 2010 |

EMPs and shootouts and moles, oh my! Hey, hey 24, you’re going to go out in style, aren’t you? After several missteps and boredom and scenes we’ve seen a million times before, the writers have stepped it up another notch and brought back the thrill. Our geeky gal Friday, Chloe, got to step out of her office shoes once again and this time she wasn’t kidding around! Jack continued to sniff out the enemy like a bloodhound, came up with crafty plans when everyone around him had given up, and survived yet another personal attack. I’m pretty sure our boy is indestructible — maybe Starbuck got him a contract with the Cylons? I’ll bet he’d have made a hell of an addition to the fleet.

CTU is crazed dealing with the aftermath of the EMP bomb. Hastings, Chloe and Arlo discuss the status of the drones and of the downed CTU communication and satellite systems. Arlo explains that the drones should stay on autopilot until they run out of gas. Hastings tells Arlo to have another agent contact the FAA to rescue the drones before they fall from the sky. Chloe shows concern for Hastings, and Starbuck tells the director that Kayla Hassan is done being checked out by CTU medical staff. Hastings wants Kayla evacuated to the UN and for Starbuck to gather department heads for a briefing and damage assessment reports. A clueless Starbuck wants to know how reports can be made when the systems are down, and Hastings tells her they can use a pen and a damned legal pad. Duh, people used to write on paper you know!

Jack calls Phil Holden (John Eric Bentley) at the NSA and tells him that CTU’s been knocked out and the IRK is trying to smuggle in nuclear rods (FYI!). Phil agrees to help Jack by using traffic cameras to search for the terrorists, and closing all the bridges and tunnels so the only avenue left into the city will be the East River. Jack and his team head to the waterfront.

Ali tells Samir that CTU is down; blind, deaf and dumb (not a bad description of Hastings either). Samir tells his other men to load the rods onto the Zodiac boat and then warms the cockles of my heart by trying to comfort Tarin over sending Kayla to her death. This seems out of character for Samir, and also makes me wonder if Tarin will eventually turn on Samir. Back at CTU, Hastings speaks with Kayla about returning to the UN to identify the IRK soldiers who held her and asked for File 33. Hastings advises a disbelieving Kayla about the bomb and her setup by Tarin.

Back at the river, Samir has again spoken by phone with Ahman the bomb maker (it’s ready) when he is notified by one of his men that an unmarked, black SUV is approaching them. Who can it be now? Why yes, Jack has again easily found the terrorists with nearly no information. Samir orders the soldier to take out the vehicle when it comes into range, and calls for Ali. Inside the vehicle, Ortiz is using an infrared device to try to spot their enemy. When they are unable to make any phone calls to the NYPD, Jack tells Ortiz their communications are being jammed and that the IRK terrorists are there. Jack tries to drive away but the SUV receives fire from all angles; he backs up near a building and some sheds and the vehicle stalls. Jack and his team exit the vehicle behind cover and start shooting according to Ortiz’s call outs - Ortiz again uses his infrared device to spot the snipers, who are all conveniently located next to numbered towers. Tarin catches sight (through binoculars) of Jack, and identifies him to Samir as one of CTUs best agents. Ortiz spies Tarin and Samir leaving with the rods by boat, but Jack and his men are still trapped under the siege of sniper fire. JackGuyver spies a call box near a building, and tells Agents Owen and King (Matt Yang King) to use armored panels from their vehicle. They’ll try to make their way to the call box using the panels as cover.

Arlo reports casualties and wounded to Hastings. CTU is also experiencing flooding, and another agent informs a surprised Hastings that the NSA has arrived. Frank Haynam (Chris McGarry) introduces himself and tells Hastings he and his team are there to help, but Haynam wants to work with his own team members. When Hastings tells him no one knows the facility better than CTU staff, the cocky Haynam lets Hastings know he was part of the group that built the facility. Hastings asks how the NSA found out CTU needed help, Haynam tells him they were contacted by Jack, but that they haven’t been able to reach Jack again. No worries Hastings, Grandpa Jack is still babysitting you - even when you don’t know it. Starbuck tries to ask Chloe what she’s doing - Chloe snaps back appropriately, telling Starbuck she’s working on a way to get the systems back online. Hastings informs everyone at CTU that Haynam and his team are there to help them, and to give the NSA team full cooperation. Chloe wants to know from Hastings if anyone has heard from Jack and Hastings tells her Jack contacted the NSA. But he also advises Chloe that they can’t take time to look for Jack. Hastings tells the worried Chloe they need to concentrate on getting CTU back up, and that Jack can take care of himself. He orders Chloe to make sure that Haynam gets anything he needs. In the server room, Chloe criticizes Haynam’s plan and tells him about an idea to go in through the trunk line that she thinks will be faster, but Haynam thinks it’s too risky. Haynam refuses to listen and tells Chloe to leave against her protests that she could figure out a safe workaround. Chloe goes to Arlo wanting to know if she can get into the trunk line from anywhere but the server room - Arlo knows of no other way. When she tells him she can get the systems up quicker, Arlo tells Chloe to try talking to Hastings but Chloe says he’ll just shut her down. Worried about Jack, Chloe telephones Renee, who’s holed up at the Chelsea Hotel. (My old stomping grounds!) Chloe quickly fills Renee in on everything and asks her to help find Jack. As Renee gets ready to go look for Jack, she tells Chloe to do what she has to do to get someone to listen to her about her plan to get the systems online faster.

Starbuck saves Prady from an evacuation of all non-essential personnel. She tells Prady the video he asked for was fried by the EMP. The two have a little sarcastic back and forth about the lack of useful information, Starbuck wishes him luck and Prady leaves.

Chloe tries to talk to Haynam about her plan again, but he blows her off. So after telling him they really need to do things her way, Chloe puts on her best angry face, summons up her courage, whips out a gun and orders Haynam and all his people to leave. Haynam tries to dissuade Chloe, but she tells him even though he’s married and probably an okay guy when he’s not at work, if he doesn’t leave she’ll shoot him. I have my doubts about that, but Haynam doesn’t know Chloe so he can only go by her crazy face. Everyone leaves the room and Chloe locks the door behind them; Haynam tells his people to go get Hastings and to bring security.

The firefight between Ortiz and King and the IRK soldiers continues as Jack and Owen prepare them to move from their position. Ortiz warns Jack the shooters are almost upon them and the team gets ready to make their move. Jack explains they need to move slowly and steadily behind the armored panel, it’s imperative they keep together. They begin proceeding as a group and the panel deflects the incoming fire, but King panics, steps out and gets shot, causing the armor to fall. Jack, Ortiz and Owen have to run to a defensive position. King is alive and the terrorists keep shooting at him to draw out Jack’s group, but Jack says they can’t go after King or they’ll be picked off one by one. But Owen can’t take watching King repeatedly being shot and runs to rescue his friend. Jack and Ortiz attempt firing to cover Owen as he drags back King, but Owen gets all shot up as well. Back behind a protective barrier, Owen asks if his pal made it and Jack and Ortiz lie to keep Owen going.

At the UN, Kayla tearfully reunites with her mother and father. She apologizes to President Hassan and says he was right about Tarin. The President is advised by a security man that he and his family will be evacuated underground and kept safe in the event of a nuclear attack. An emotional President Hassan tells Dalia he almost lost her and their daughter, all over a falling apart peace agreement. Dalia embraces President Hassan and tells him he is doing the right thing and has to be strong. The President makes a weird orgasm face and they walk down a hallway.

Hastings, Haynam and security arrive at the barricaded server room door behind which Chloe is working. Haynam complains about Chloe and wants to know where Hastings finds “these people.” (Believe me dude, we all want to know how some of them are employed at CTU.) Starbuck joins them and Hastings tells her Chloe has gone off the deep end. Security works on breaking into the room and Chloe frantically tries to continue her work. When the door is opened and the group bursts in, Chloe tells them not to shoot, and that she only needs ten more minutes to finish and the systems will be working. Chloe explains her plan to Hastings and says they need to help Jack and the agents in the field. Haynam tries to take charge and Hastings tells Haynam to shut up and let him handle the situation. Hastings asks Starbuck’s opinion on the plan and she totally screws over Chloe, saying it’s too risky and it might not work. Bitch! But Chloe boldly stands up for herself and says she deserves the ten minutes - that she’s proved herself throughout the day. Hastings agrees to let her continue, much to Haynam’s chagrin. A CTU agent comes by to advise Hastings that Bill Prady wants to see him. Starbuck overhears and her stomach eats itself.

Chloe is down to the wire, literally. After notifying Hastings to stand by, she attempts to activate CTU’s systems. A couple of sparks and a pop later, the communications systems come up along with one of the satellites. Chloe tells Hastings if he finds Jack that Renee needs to be notified. Hastings sends Haynam to see if Chloe needs help, and tells him to be civil with her this time. Haynam walks off with his tail between his legs.

JackGuyver is unable to save Owen; he and Ortiz are the only two left alive. Jack still wants Ortiz to run for the call box while he draws fire, and he orders a doubtful Ortiz to follow his plan. In case he doesn’t make it, Jack asks Ortiz to make sure Hastings keeps his promise not to bring Renee back in. Jack and Ortiz come out from behind cover shooting, but they are outnumbered. Jack is shot several times and falls to the ground. At just the minute when a sniper has Jack’s head in his weapon’s sights, Renee shows up and shoots the sniper! I’m telling you, the way these people get to the right place at the right time with zero direction - it’s unbelievable. Literally! After she and Ortiz clear the area, Renee runs to Jack and scares him back to consciousness. (I know Jack, that is one freaky forehead!) Luckily the bullets didn’t penetrate Jack’s vest, though he says he can’t breathe and may have a punctured lung. Ortiz uses the call box to make contact with CTU and a chopper is sent for them. Arlo advises Hastings on the terrorists’ escape with the rods by boat. Hastings tries to compliment Chloe on a job well done, but she tells him she’s not good with praise.

Starbuck slinks down a hallway looking for Prady. She questions him, asking why he’s talking to her boss. Prady says he knows she’s involved with Kevin and the robbery, and that she should just confess or he’s going to nail her ass to a wall. Wrong move Jimmy James! Starbuck goes loco and punches Prady in the gut, then overpowers and strangles him. She couldn’t help it - she is the harbinger of death, you know! Starbuck pulls off a handy dandy wall panel and stuffs his body inside, then replaces the panel. You’d better hope there’s no black cat in there! In what is sure to be the “Holy Shit!” moment of the season, Starbuck makes a call to…dum dum dumm…Samir!!! She tells him CTU is back online and she doesn’t know how much longer she can keep her cover. Samir says he and Tarin need help getting out of the area and Starbuck tells him she’ll be able to help and will call him back in a few minutes. Beep! Beep! Beeeeeep!

For your Enhanced Recap Experience (ERE), please open this link in a new tab and listen to the music while reading the final paragraph.

Again, where the hell is President Taylor? Can’t JackGuyver just take over as President and run the country too? Will anyone watching this show buy Starbuck as a mole? Will Starbuck think she hears Prady’s beating heart behind the wall panel, causing her to go mad? Wait. Hasn’t she already gone mad? Can we get Starbuck to kill Renee or vice versa? Why do people who are not Italian say “vice-ah versa”? Why does Giada De Laurentiis insist on saying “spagheeetee”? Don’t the men just watch her because of her boobs? Oops! Distracted again. Is 24cancelled, or what? For these answers and more, please stay tuned to Pajiba until the next recap of As Jack’s World Turns.

Cindy is holed up in a bunker in the northeast sector of the country, and that’s all you need to know. You can reach Cindy here

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