Oh Amazon, I love the fact that you make it so that like some time-delayed Greek god, I can wave my fingers and have anything in the universe appear at my house within two days. And I do enjoy the pile of streaming television you’ve got up. It manages to actually compliment what Netflix streaming has, so there’s value added instead of straight competition. But Amazon’s video service has always looked up to Netflix with envy, and I’m sure Yoda would tell us to the dark side that leads.
So the news that Amazon had secured the rights for a “Zombieland” television series that would broadcast on Amazon Prime was sort of interesting. It was their logical next step, like Netflix took with “House of Cards” and “Arrested Development.” But so far the launch is going about as well as the latest SimCity launch. Either you know exactly what that means, or trust me, you don’t care enough about video games to bother looking it up. I’ll sum up:
To great fanfare, Amazon launched the pilot episode of “Zombieland” yesterday. The idea being that they would have a public pilot to get feedback before making the first season. Neat idea, all democratic and such.
It currently has 1 star out of 5 on Amazon’s customer rating system. That’s because you can’t watch it. Go ahead, go take a look. It just plays a 12 second “Coming Soon” bit. And this isn’t just an initial glitch. It has been 24 hours, far past any justifiable excuse of technical glitches. And the fact that Amazon hasn’t addressed the issue, taken down the page, or anything resembling actual communication with their customer base is sort of embarrassing at this point. They’d be better off just putting a Rickroll link up. But one is beginning to wonder if they actually even have a pilot episode to air.
This is my favorite review at this point:
This is one of the most daring experiments in TV I have ever seen.
The entire episode is only 12 seconds long but it is full of drama. I thought no company would ever dare to create a TV show without any characters or footage but Amazon has gone there!
You first get attached to the “Coming Soon” text during the first 6 seconds. Then just to throw you off they loop the same text again during the final heart pounding 6 seconds.
Most shows have plots, characters, settings, storylines. No, not Zombieland. This show is all about text letting you know that something is coming soon from Amazon!
But hey, here’s the trailer:
Sweet zombie Jesus with a chainsaw, that is beyond terrible looking. Maybe it’s for the best that the pilot isn’t available. There might be fatalities if people watch a show that bad.