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You Just Keep Me Hanging On: "Torchwood" Trepidation, Tribulation and Trailers

By Cindy Davis | Trailers | June 29, 2011 |

By Cindy Davis | Trailers | June 29, 2011 |

Most of us have trepidations over this whole Starz-is-taking-control-of-Torchwood-and-bringing-it-to-America thing and with good reason. Almost any foreign show that’s been brought stateside has paled in comparison. And this isn’t just any old, by the book import; this is a whackadoodie semi-revamp that will include original actors and characters, intermixed with new folks. Whenever I think about it, I begin to understand people trying out new meds: up and down and all over the place. I feel like Kramer when he was freaked out by something and he’d make lots of hand motions as his voice reverted to puberty. And all this new publicity isn’t helping out much. Some of the pictures of Captain Jack Harkness make my heart sing and I long to run toward him, but then I see pics of the new people and most of them look dull and uninspired. The latest trailer, set to Lou Reed’s Perfect Day is, well, kinda perfect. But then Starz put out their slow-talk version, explained everything out to the point of distraction and I’m right back to square one again.

But hey hey, Captain Jack, meet me down by the railroad track, because you do still look hot:


Here’s Gwen with her cute, little baby:


And Lauren Ambrose, who’ll play a woman who looks like a high class hooker (with the name to match: Jilly Kitzinger).


Bill Pullman is some nasty criminal sentenced to death, but because of “Miracle Day,” he’s apparently hanging around. I think that’s his confused soul in the background there, unable to cross over.


Here’s Arlene Tur as a surgeon who is either depressed or bored; either way, it’s worrisome.


The new Torchwood gang: Jack refuses to look us in the eye, Mekhi Phifer is the bewildered, crack CIA man and Gwen is all worried looks and “I’d rather be anywhere else.”


Finally, we have the Starz editorial entitled, “Poseurs with Guns.”


A little Lou makes everything seem better:

Alternatively, if you’re high or a mildly retarded, watch this one. I think it has a Disney ride narrator:

I don’t know what’s going to happen with this thing…

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