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Oh, Kevin Smith: What Have You Done Now?

By Dustin Rowles | Trailers | May 10, 2016 |

By Dustin Rowles | Trailers | May 10, 2016 |

Below is the trailer for Yoga Hosers a new tween targeted film from Kevin Smith starring his daughter, Harley Quinn Smith, and the daughter of Johnny Depp, Lily-Rose Melody Depp. Johnny Depp is also in it (as is his ex-wife, Vanessa Paradis). Depp plays a French stereotype. This is what Depp looks like:

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Yoga Hosers is the second in the True North trilogy, the first of which was Tusk, a movie that made me very very sad. It made $1.8 million at the box office, which is why it’s good that the North Trilogy was financed before Tusk was released. The movies feature the same actors and some, like Depp, are playing the same characters. Justin Long, however, was turned into walrus in the first film, Tusk, and now he’s playing a yoga instructor with a walrus mustache.

There’s part of me — the part that grew up on and loves Kevin Smith — that wants to like Yoga Hosers, but the other part of me — the part that has actually seen the trailer — will not allow it. It has people that I like in it — Tony Hale, Natasha Lyonne, Long, Adam Brody, Haley Joel Osement — but the movie looks like the cinematic equivalent of a dishrag that was used after someone ran out of toilet paper.

I could forgive it as a tween movie targeted a demo that is not me and maybe even appreciate it on that level in spite of the terrible, Nickelodeon-level jokes in the trailer, but then this guy shows up:

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I’m not entirely sure what that is supposed to be, but I suspect it came to Kevin Smith while he was in a fog-cloud of marijuana. I really wish Kevin Smith had never met Seth Rogen. It appears as though Smith is trying to merge episodes of Sam and Cat with Troll 2.

Here’s the trailer:

At least he got some free promotion for Yoga Hosers when the MPAA stupidly gave it an R-Rating (he successfully appealed for a PG-13 rating). Smith will also be directing an episode of The Flash tonight.

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Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.