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Who's the Bigger Dick? Bruce Willis for Being One? Or Kevin Smith for Calling Him One?

By Dustin Rowles | Trailers | January 19, 2011 |

By Dustin Rowles | Trailers | January 19, 2011 |

This is not going to be another Kevin Smith rant. I don’t have the energy, and besides, the reason so many of us like the guy is because he’s talks shit about the people he’s worked with who deserved to be talked shit about. Although, at a certain point, it does start to feel like that friend of yours who has the worst luck with shitty roommates, and you begin to wonder if she was the shitty roommate all along.

But I give Smith more credit that that.

Anyway, here’s the story. Vince over at FilmDrunk was the first to pick up on an exchange between Kevin Smith and Marc Maron’s WTF Podcast. Smith was discussing the marketing for Cop Out when the conversation moved to Bruce Willis (although, Smith never actually names him).

Transcript excerpted from FilmDrunk:

SMITH: Look, I know the real story. One guy wouldn’t even sit for a fuckin’ poster shoot.”

MARON: “You don’t want to mention names all of a sudden?”

SMITH: “Everyone knows who it is. Put it this way, remember the really funny guy in the movie? It ain’t him. He’s a f__king dream. Tracy Morgan, I would lay down in traffic for. Were it not for Tracy, I might’ve killed myself or someone else in the making of that movie.”

MARON: “Honestly, you were given the gift of not having to tell your dad that Bruce Willis was a d_ck.”

SMITH: “I wish he could’ve just communicated it to me from the afterlife. It was difficult. I’ve never been involved in a situation like that where, one component is not in the box at all. It was fuckin soul crushing. I mean, a lot of people are gonna be like, ‘Oh, you’re just trying to blame the movie on him.’ No, but I had no fucking help from this dude whatsoever.”

MARON: “The sad part is, as a kid who grew up in New Jersey who loved Bruce Willis, and you get this big opportunity, and you get disappointed by your hero. And that’s probably something that you’re going to have to deal with again.”

SMITH: “No, but he changed everything for me though. Because now I’ll never meet anybody. That was it. I’d rather like people from a distance.”

It’s not the first that Smith has talked shit about Willis, either. There’s a couple of other clips posted over at FD where Smith alludes to a “‘passionless piece of sh*t’ who refused to stand on his mark and was ‘actively working against the production.’”

So, the take-home here? Bruce Willis is probably a dick. The other take home? Kevin Smith can’t keep his goddamn mouth shut. But that, folks, is why Kevin Smith can be so great. No one else in Hollywood has the balls to say that Bruce Willis is a “passionless piece of shit.”

Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.

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