Some day, Hollywood will learn that these massive ensemble cast movies are never any fucking good. Actually, that’s not true — Hollywood already knows — they just don’t give a shit.
Here’s the trailer for What To Expect When You’re Expecting, based very loosely on the book of the same name. The book is meant to be an aid to pregnant mothers (and fathers, I suppose), though it’s received a bit of criticism for being dependent on scare tactics and misdirection. I haven’t read it, and my wife, who is currently preggo, refuses to read it and is far more interested in pregnancy books that are more scientific in nature.
But they made a movie out of it, and it stars everyone: Anna Kendrick, Elizabeth Banks, Cameron Diaz, Jennifer Lopez, Brooklyn Decker, Chace Crawford, Dennis Quaid, Rodrigo Santoro, Matthew Morrison, Chris Rock, and Megan Mullally. It’s the New Year’s Eve of pregnancy movies, meaning it’s got a huge cast and it looks like a leaky bucket of donkey shit, and if there’s any justice in the universe, it’ll flop like a rotten fish dropped from an airplane. It’s directed by Kirk Jones (Nanny McPhee, Waking Ned Devine) and written by Shauna Cross (Whip It), two people with some talent, but it appears that they’re gonna strike out hard on this one. It’s a goddamn pregnancy abomination that plays on every sad, pathetic, shitty womens’ magazine stereotype about pregnancy that there ever was. I don’t know if these couples exist in real life, and if they do, they should never, ever breed.
Here’s the trailer. They’ll show it to expecting couples in Hell:
Also: Anna Kendrick and Elizabeth Banks, I cannot contain my disappointment in the two of you. I mean, seriously.