Watch This Trailer or Jab a Pencil in Your Ear? Colin Firth, Orlando Bloom and Patricia Clarkson Will Make You Wish You Chose the Latter
How can a group of actors of this calibre end up in what is likely the schlockiest trailer this year? I can’t even come up with enough bad adjectives to properly prepare you. Heck, I’ve hardly got words at all. Assembled here are Colin Firth, Orlando Bloom, Patricia Clarkson, Ellen Burstyn, Margo Martindale, Andrew McCarthy and Amber Tamblyn, yet somehow the output looks worse than any dreck Lifetime ever shat over the airwaves.
But it’s Monday, so things can hardly get worse, can they? Maybe you’ll find the awfulness amusing…
Can your eyes believe what they just saw? Are your ears bleeding? Could there be any plausible explanation for anything this craptastic? It’s like the order of the world has been turned upside down. Heck, the first IMBD commenter sounds almost intelligent and sane in his review: “I waited and waited for the plot to develop - to no avail. There seemed to be no point to this film; no in depth character development and more disappointedly, no story. Colin Firth, undoubtedly a superb actor where quintessential English characterisation (sic) is required, is appalling when cast as an American. His accent is shocking and comparable only to Dick Van Dyke’s cockney accent in Mary Poppins! An absolute waste of time.”
But just in case you’re feeling suicidal, Main Street will premiere On Demand August 5, 2011 and be released in theaters September 9th.