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That's Not A Moon, That's A Battlestation

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Trailers | September 15, 2009 |

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Trailers | September 15, 2009 |

A new moon is when the moon isn’t visible because it’s completely obscured by the Earth’s shadow. I take this to mean one of two things. Either New Moon will be two hours of black screen (perhaps an improvement on the first film), or New Moon is an elaborate racist joke. I have not yet decided which.

So because you’re all lovely masochists, the new trailer for New Moon that aired during the commercials between Kanye’s tantrums is available below in all of its glory.


There are fewer werewolves in this one than in previous trailers, and it looks like they’re trying to play up the vampires being weird, violent and powerful, which makes them cool instead of sparkly, so go team. If I didn’t know any of the context of these films, I’d say this trailer makes the film look a lot more interesting than the first couple of trailers did.

Of course it (the trailer at least; the film probably makes up a macguffin to explain this away) falls victim to the cell phone trap of bad storytelling: i.e., the plot is very stupid if most of it could be avoided by the single use of a cell phone. “Oh noes, sweetkins Edward poopycups is going to kill himself because he thinks I’m dead, we’d better drive fast fast fast!” You know what goes even faster than yellow porsches (though not red ones)? Phone calls.

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Steven Lloyd Wilson is the sci-fi and history editor. You can email him here or follow him on Twitter.