As the Eclipse tagline suggests: “It All Starts with a Choice.”

You can choose to watch or not watch the full-length trailer for Twilight Eclipse. My guess, however, is that — since there was no misleading headline — since you’ve made it this far, you’re probably going to go ahead and hit play. What’s a minute and 31 seconds, right? How much permanent damage could it do?

I’m currently writing this post from the bowels of an insane asylum, where I have been intermittently banging my head against a padded wall and trying to kill myself with a soda can tab. I’m sure it had nothing to do with watching this trailer, though.

I’m thirsty. I’d like a nice glass of BBQ sauce. And three marshmallows, perfectly cut down the center and filled with the naval hair of a virgin gypsy.

Why won’t you hold me, Bella?

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Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.