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Seriously: I'd Rather Hump Trash than Watch This Movie

By Dustin Rowles (as TK) | Trailers | September 11, 2009 |

By Dustin Rowles (as TK) | Trailers | September 11, 2009 |

TK is otherwise preoccupied this morning, or else he’d be covering this trailer. So, in his stead, I think I’ll just write what I think TK would write:

Dear Harmony Korine: Fuck your mother, You sick fucking freak, what the hell is wrong with you? You’re an idiot. A goddamn stain on the sun. A waste of carbon. You call this a trailer? This isn’t a trailer. This is annoying white-trash freak porn. Go blow a goat, you fucking dink. Don’t bring your bullshit around here; I will crush your windpipe with Bea Arthur’s dick (R.I.P.), you retarded monkey.

Listen: This movie doesn’t deserve distribution (it’s opening at TIFF). It doesn’t deserve to be seen. The only reason I’m posting it here is because I hate you all. You don’t like it? Tough shit. I didn’t like it, either. But if my brain is going to bleed, then I’m going to throttle the gag reflex on your morbid curiosity until you punch the play button so your brain will bleed, too. Misery loves company, motherfuckers. And I need some fucking company.

You can thank me later.

Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.

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