Ah, the Transformers franchise. A brainless, but relatively entertaining first film that suffered from Shia Leboof, who may well be one of the worst over-actors in Hollywood, and some goofy-assed writing. But there was some fun to be had in it. Not so much the second, Revenge Of The Fallen, which was inexcusably and unrelentingly atrocious. Literally every second of dialogue was absolutely brutal. Dustin eviscerated it in his review, and honestly? As a sci-fi nerd who unapologetically loves a lot of really shitty movies, I didn’t think he was harsh enough. Revenge Of The Fallen was the closest I’ve come to seeing a literal shit show on screen.
Now, we’ve got Transformers: Dark Of The Moon, with a new teaser trailer and poster. The poster sucks, so let’s get it out of the way first:
The trailer is… surprisingly effective.
Not great, but I didn’t find myself constantly rolling my eyes, likely because there was no Shia or robot peeing jokes. Honestly, it’s the awful attempts at humor that’s killing this franchise. I can almost live with cheesy plots, but the comic relief writers need to be thrown into a rusty threshing machine. The painful ethnic stereotyping needs to go too — I wanted to set him on fire after watching the wretched Stepin Fetchit/Shuck and Jive twins from Revenge Of The Fallen.
Now, I’ve heard some good things about the third entry — the boys at Collider were privy to a set visit and came away pretty damn impressed. Now, it’s a paid set visit, and they’re scarce with the details, so take that for what it’s worth. But Bay is trying to at least say the right things:
“We tried to learn from the second movie. On the second movie we got burned. We had a writers strike, we had to agree on a story in three weeks, and then we knew they were going on strike. It was a fucked scenario all the way around, it wasn’t fair to the writer, it wasn’t fair to me, it wasn’t fair to anybody. It was still an entertaining movie, but I think we failed on certain aspects. What we did with this movie is I think we have a much better script, and we got back to basics. I think there’s some really cool action on this movie, there’s some very cool conspiracy, there’s great robot stuff in this that people were missing in the second one, you’ve got great robot conflict. So I’m excited about this movie. It’s more serious. I got rid of the dorky comedy, I mean we’ve got two little characters, that’s it, but the dorkiness is not there. Dork-free Transformers. It’s much more serious. It’s still entertaining, it’s big looking.”
The “dorky comedy” news is promising. The trailer is decent. Bay has made some fun movies in the past. Should we be hopeful?
No, not really. But it’s worth arguing about in the comments, so get to it, you reprobates.