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'Transformers: Age Of Extinction' Trailer: More Of The Same, But Now With Dinobots!

By TK Burton | Trailers | March 5, 2014 |

By TK Burton | Trailers | March 5, 2014 |

  • Brightly colored scenes of Americana? Check.
  • Young girl/woman in short shorts? Check.
  • Copious American flag imagery? Check.
  • Lens flares? Check.
  • Long shots of helicopters and SUV’s on the chase? Check.
  • Attractive young woman with dirty, tear-streaked face? Check.
  • Valiant hero babbling something about family/country/freedom/liberty? Check.
  • Massive scaled damage to an urban environment? Check.
  • Explosions? Check.
  • Giant robots engaged in frenetic combat where you can barely tell what the hell is going on? Check.

Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve got ourselves a Michael Bay movie.

So there’s the trailer for Transformers: Age Of Extinction, a movie that I knew was going to happen, and yet still kind of didn’t believe it. We’ll see if Bay is going to continue his trend of playing to broad stereotypes and shallow characterizations, but I know where I’d put my money. The whole “hunting down the Transformers” thing will probably be quickly abandoned so they can save our asses AGAIN, and Mark Wahlberg will yell a lot, and there will be evil human bureaucrats who will end up looking like assholes.

Basically, it looks… like a Transformers movie. Sure, Wahlberg is a step up from ZeBoof, And I love me some Titus Welliver, and Stanley Tucci is in it looking kind of mean, and there’s no manic Turturro there to tarnish his legacy even further. Hell, Kelsey Grammer’s in this thing. In fact, one of my favorite crazy people, TJ MIller apparently shows up as well.


trexc dinobot.jpg

But let’s not fool ourselves. It’s going to be big, loud, empty, explodey, headache-inducing crapola, devoid of any kind of coherent story, well-written characters, or any depth whatsoever.

It’s gonna make a bazillion dollars.

In case you care, if you call the number shown on the “Remember Chicago” poster, you get a scary message and a the URL for which gets you this poster, which is supposed to be Optimus Prime. Hooray.


(via The Nerdist)

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TK Burton is the Editorial Director. You may email him here or follow him on Twitter.