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"You Can't Handle the Tooth"

By Dustin Rowles | Trailers | October 2, 2009 |

By Dustin Rowles | Trailers | October 2, 2009 |

A few weeks ago, we introduced the movie poster for Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson’s upcoming flick, The Tooth Fairy, and what had us scratching our head the most was why the Tooth Fairy was wearing ice skates.

The trailer below answers that question. But you’re going to wish it hadn’t.

The Rock, you see, is the “meanest man in hockey.” He’s a killer of dreams (probably of people, too — dude could pop your head like a grape in one of his biceps). However, after he commits a bad deed, he is sentenced to serve a week as a real-life tooth fairy.

Jiminy Fucking Christmas. Ashley Judd plays the love interest; Billy Crystal completely loses his dignity; and Julie Andrews plays the best looking 75-year-old woman you will ever see. That woman apparently doesn’t have a wrinkle on her entire face, and yet, there’s no sign of bad plastic surgery. Ridiculous.

Also ridiculous: This fucking movie.

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Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.