Here, below, is the brand-spanking new trailer for a recycled sequel to Paranormal Activity, that viral movie-theater hit of 2009, which made something like elevently trillion dollars on a $4.72 budget. The sequel, which is being produced by Oren Peli, who directed the first film, looks like the first film plus a baby. It also looks like they spent a lot more money to try and capture the cheap feel of the first film. Also, there’s no fucking way this does well — this is going to be Blair Witch 2 all over again. You can’t recapture magic with a rehashed sequel. The major appeal of the first film was that we didn’t really know what the movie was about; we just knew that people got really scared. And like any movie of this type, about half the people did legitimately get scared (me! me!), and the other half of the viewers were like, “OMG it was so boring holy shit I am so much better than everyone who got scared by that movie only a dimwit douchebag would fall for that pab-u-lum.”
Seriously, people. Do you want me to get naked and start a revolution? Because I will.