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They're All Going to Burn: "True Blood" Teaser

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Trailers | April 2, 2013 |

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Trailers | April 2, 2013 |

Another year has passed so it must be time for the “True Blood” trailers to start, looking far more compelling and interesting than any of the seasons actually end up being. There’s tense music, dramatic statements taken out of context, and a lot of blood and a lot of abs, sometimes at the same time. Let’s just sum it up by saying that Alcide rips his shirt off for no reason (he didn’t get that certificate in Taylor Lautner werewolf acting for nothing), Eric wears a funny geeky outfit, and Bill’s gone full on Lady Bathory.

Here’s the trailer:

The thing is that although “True Blood” has completely jumped the rails, one criticism that I wouldn’t level at it is a lack of stuff happening. It’s all shitballs retarded, but at least something happens, which has been a problem of a decent proportion of the dark genre shows over the last decade as they get up there in seasons. It’s particularly ironic with “True Blood” since the show is based on a series of books (that it ceased having the slightest thing to do with quite some time ago) in which nothing happens in the least by later volumes. Sookie does so much laundry and runs so many plot irrelevant errands in the books that she could have been written by Robert Jordan.

I’d still rather just watch a Pam and Lafayette spin off, but HBO doesn’t return my phone calls, so that project is still up in the air.

Season six of “True Blood” arrives on June 16th.

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Steven Lloyd Wilson is the sci-fi and history editor. You can email him here or follow him on Twitter.