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The Universe Hates You, Sparkle Edition: Stephenie Meyer's Second Film Series Arrives

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Trailers | May 30, 2012 |

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Trailers | May 30, 2012 |

Dustin first reported that Stephenie Meyer was going to have another series adapted to film, this one involving body-occupying aliens. I assume they crashed their 737 spaceships into volcanoes, as that it my understanding as how this happens, according to my extensive research into fringe religious stupidity via watching episodes of “South Park.” That original news was from 2009, and so I had only hoped that the film had died in cleansing fire at some point.

Instead, it’s gone all the way to the point of having a release date (March 2013), teasers, and behind the scene views. Here’s the plot summary:

Melanie Stryder [is] one of the last humans putting up a fight against an alien species called Souls. These parasites invade human bodies, fuse to each person’s consciousness and systematically erase their personalities. Melanie is captured by the aliens and implanted by a Soul called Wanderer, something of a legend because of all of the “hosts” she has attached to on numerous planets. Wanderer’s goal is to get Melanie to give up the remaining pockets of humans, but instead the alien finds Melanie to be unique in her unwillingness to surrender her consciousness. Wanderer is so overwhelmed by Melanie’s memories and feelings, the alien is driven to reconnect with Melanie’s old life.

Let me guess, a legendary and powerful immortal falls in love with a bland blank slate. I bet a bunch of people think it’s an empowering story just like they think they’re strong and independent because they like peppermint in their iced mocha from Starbucks. And here’s a teaser:

Okay, fine, I’ll admit, it’s a neat effect having everyones’ eyes look identical. But you can’t possibly give me another reason for thinking this won’t be an offense to all quality story telling.

Andrew Niccol is still directing it? They actually kept the director of Gattaca on board for this thing? Wait, and they got Saoirse Ronan to star? Don’t people like this have good movies they should be making?

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Steven Lloyd Wilson is the sci-fi and history editor. You can email him here or follow him on Twitter.