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The Odd Life Of Timothy Green Trailer: A New Father's Thoughts On Your Creepy Pod Baby

By TK Burton | Trailers | May 11, 2012 |

By TK Burton | Trailers | May 11, 2012 |

The first teaser for The Odd Life Of Timothy Green came out in August of last year. Back then, I had this to say:

Picture this scenario:

You and your lovely wife are incredibly happy. You’re a beautiful couple living in a bucolic little town, and you’re ready to start a family. Except that oh noes! You can’t conceive. You try everything, but alas, it’s not to be. So one night you get all liquored up, and in a fit of glum sadness, you write down all of the things you’d have loved to see your child become, and you… put those notes in a box.

And then you bury the box in the garden?

And then, the next morning, you hear a noise and you go into your spare bedroom, and a dirty little boy is crawling around, birthed from the ground you recently dug up.

Would you:
a) Run screaming and call the police and/or child protective services?
b) Kill it with fire?
c) Adopt him as your own?
Me personally? I’d go (in order) (b), (a), and frankly, (c) isn’t even on the fucking table. But that’s me. If you picked (c), then The Odd Life of Timothy Green is for you.

And here’s the newest trailer:

A lot of things in my life are different since I wrote that. My view of the world, of people, and most importantly, of children, has evolved. I have a son now. He’s a whopping 12 days old. He is also the greatest thing in the history of the fucking universe. Everything in my world has changed in the last 12 days, and I am a better and happier man for it. So I understand now, more than I possibly could have before, what it is to truly love a child.

And I would still burn that accursed thing to ash and then salt the earth that it came out of. Because that’s just fucking weird and wrong and he’s totally going to sneak into your room in the middle of the night and tear off your face and suck out your brains and then probably gut your wife and feast on the steaming goo within.

So yeah, I guess it looks kind of cute. Schmaltzy as hell, but cute.

But seriously — Kill it. Kill it a lot.

TK Burton is an Editorial Consultant. You may email him here or follow him on Twitter.

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