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The Mostly Disastrous Movie Trailers that Aired During Super Bowl XLVII

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Trailers | February 4, 2013 |

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Trailers | February 4, 2013 |

While I died a little last night, there were some movie trailers that aired during the game. Mostly they were terrible. I’m afraid that I’m not selling this post very well. Hey! Let’s all drink some more!

Oz the Great and Powerful:

The real tragedy of Tim Burton’s trainwrecks of CGI fantasy is that they deaden us to fantasy. I watch that trailer and part of my brain just shuts off and files it away with the pile of mediocrity Burton has cultivated. Then another part of my brain protests that Sam Raimi deserves a chance.

Iron Man 3

I like to pretend that Robert Downey Jr. thinks that the Iron Man films are just reality television shows filming his actual life. He did do a lot of cocaine, you know.

Star Trek Into Darkness:

“I’m better at everything”: Is the big reveal going to be that Cumberbatch is actually playing Sherlock Holmes escaped from the holodeck? It would still be better than the time Data got a cat.

World War Z:

Does anyone think this isn’t going to be a disaster at this point? And just as an aside, I hate that stupid scarf Brad Pitt has tied casually around his neck in every promo picture I see for this movie. Is the scarf the protagonist? It might be an improvement judging by the progression in the trailers of establishing just how fully everyone involved completely missed the attraction of the book.

The Lone Ranger:

For this movie to look dumber, it would have to add Vin Diesel in a car. Oh, that’s right.

Fast & Furious 6:

The Roadrunner has a higher regard for the laws of physics than that trailer.

Lost in a Good Book by Jasper Fforde | Trade News: Johnny Depp Continues His Quest To Be In 1 Out Of Every 3 Movies And I Continue My Pissy Mood.

Steven Lloyd Wilson is the sci-fi and history editor. You can email him here or follow him on Twitter.