The Nicholas Sparks Adaptation-Bot 2000 has been jumpstarted once again, and it has produced another winner. All of the basic ingredients are there:
Quiet, handsome loner (Zac Efron)
Pretty, anxious, spirited woman (Taylor Schilling)
A misunderstanding/deception that brought them together but will nonetheless cause some sort of rift
A bland, banal score replete with an excessive crescendo
A crappy, adult contemporary Third Eye Blind-esque song
Cheesy lines like “Why did you come here?” “To find you”
Oh God, somewhere a lonely 50-something woman surrounded by cats and empty Häagen-Daz containers just spontaneously orgasmed.
I fucking hate Nicholas Sparks. I don’t know how they roped Baby Goose and Rachel McAdams into being in The Notebook, I swear.