Survey Says: Retarrible!
Y’all remember Richard Dawson, right? Long-time host of “The Family Feud,” replaced by Ray Combs, then replaces Ray Combs after Ray Combs offs himself and offered slimy, skeevy kisses to dolled-up women angling to share a little loot with their family for SURVEY SAYS: BACON. Dawson doesn’t have a lot to do with this post, but I was reminded of him while watching the Italian trailer for Gerard Butler’s Game. Dawson was the host in The Running Man, which featured criminals running for their lives in elaborate obstacle courses where death was the most likely result.
The Game is kind of like that, only the criminals in the obstacle course are controlled by other humans in a huge, elaborate multi-player videogame, where instead of manipulating the little guy in DOOM, you’re manipulating a real person — a convicted criminal — and you can use him to kill other people. In the movie, this multiplayer game, called Slayers, was designed by a character played by Michael C. Hall. Gerard Butler plays a criminal trying to regain his independence from the game. Alison Lohman figures into the movie somehow.
Did I mention it all looks shitballs retarded? No? I should probably mention that, then.
The Game looks shitballs retarded.
Fortunately, it’s so insanely idiotic that it really doesn’t matter that the trailer is in Italian. I should also mention that it’s directed by Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor, who were responsible for writing and directing Crank. And because of that, I won’t completely dismiss the movie based on the trailer, although if you watch it too many times, you have an epileptic seizure. What I’m saying is: Bite on something if you’re going to watch it more than once. I’ll also give them points for making the movie look so similar to a video game, but then again, if I wanted to watch a video game, I’d hang out all day at Best Buy.
Here’s the trailer.