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The Extremely Loud And Incredibly Close Trailer Makes Me Hate Myself

By TK Burton | Trailers | October 11, 2011 |

By TK Burton | Trailers | October 11, 2011 |

Ugh. This trailer, man. I swear. It’s everything I hate. Let’s start off with the entirely too precious synopsis:

Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close tells the story of one young boy’s journey from heartbreaking loss to the healing power of self-discovery, set against the backdrop of the tragicevents of September 11. Eleven-year-old Oskar Schell is an exceptional child: amateur inventor, Francophile, pacifist. And after finding a mysterious key that belonged to his father, who died in the World Trade Center on 9/11, he embarks on an exceptional journey—an urgent, secret search through the five boroughs of New York. As Oskar roams the city, he encounters a motley assortment of humanity, who are all survivors in their own ways. Ultimately, Oskar’s journey ends where it began, but with the solace of that most human experience: love.

“With the solace of that most human experience: love?” Fuck you, you treacly, saccharine shitbird. Like I said, everything I hate — Serious Tom Hanks. Sandra Bullock doing the sweet and sincere thing. Precocious, over-intelligent youngsters who are utterly unrealistic. U2. Montages of people running. Montages of people crying. More fucking crying. Too much hugging. It’s directed by Stephen Daldry, who directed the entirely too adorable for its own fucking good Billy Elliot. Oh, and my favorite: using 9/11 as an emotional manipulator.

Christ, do I want to see this. FUCK.

Just watch the damn thing, you assholes.

TK Burton is an Editorial Consultant. You may email him here or follow him on Twitter.

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