film / tv / politics / social media / lists / web / celeb / pajiba love / misc / about / cbr
film / tv / politics / web / celeb


Blow Up the Outside World

By TK Burton | Trailers | October 14, 2009 |

By TK Burton | Trailers | October 14, 2009 |

Sweet facehumping Yahweh on a goddamn unicycle.

Here is the trailer for Sylvester Stallone’s The Expendables. Yes, Stallone directed it, just like he directed every Rocky movie except for the first one. It is, in no uncertain terms, the dumbest and awesomest looking movie of 2010. It is shitballs retarded. I plan on heavily mocking it and snickering over its stupidity. Also? I want to take it to a nice steak dinner and then hump it by the dumpsters behind the restaurant. It’s got a checklist of every movie tough guy you can think of — Stallone, Jet Li, Mickey Rourke, THE STATHAM, Steve Austin, Eric Roberts, Terry Crews, Dolph Motherfucking Lundgren, Danny Trejo, Bruce Willis and so on.

Watch it an revel in its kaboomy kablooieness (now with updated working trailer!).

Glorious, no? The plot — ah, fuck a bunch of plot. It’s got shirtless Statham, a Lundgren-Li fight scene, Charisma Carpenter, more things going ‘asplodey than you can shake a stick at, and Stallone in perma-sneer.

I know in my heart that this will be big and stupid. In fact, I want it to be. I’m counting on it.

TK Burton is an Editorial Consultant. You may email him here or follow him on Twitter.

Uncertainty Trailer | Chris Pine to Take Over Jack Ryan Franchise