Full Disclosure: Agent Bedhead’s review of the original Piranha 3D is pretty much the only reason I watched the movie. While I certainly appreciate good, old fashioned schlock, I generally draw the line at excessive, unrelenting gore. An unexpected fatality can be one of cinema’s greatest pleasures, but like the autopsy scenes in “The X-Files” I don’t need to know exactly which organ is on display to enjoy the show. I’m not offended by it, I just don’t need to see it. But I was definitely glad I took the dive, because Piranha 3D was one of my favorite films of 2010.
That said, Alexandre Aja’s ode to boobs and blood is certainly not for everybody. Yes, even if those people are wrong. After seeing the movie’s trailer, I might have agreed with those theoretical straw men about the existence of Piranha 3DD, but then I found out John Gulager was directing it. If you don’t recognize that name, it’s understandable. Gulager was the third winner of HBO’s “Project Greenlight,” when he was chosen to direct Marcus Dunstan’s and Patrick Melton’s script, Feast. That movie ended up being the best and last of the “Greenlight” projects, an almost satirical take on The Hills Have Eyes genre. The two sequels are basically the same, but neither are quite as special as the first. Still, I liked the movies, and his persona from the reality series, enough to look forward to his next film. That Gulager directed a sequel to another director’s remake might sound a bit unfortunate, it isn’t exactly unexpected.
So while the trailer is almost put together like it’s really a parody of a satire of a horror film, I kind of think John Gulager could make something out of this material. It doesn’t hurt that Christopher Lloyd, Ving Rhames, and Paul Scheer all return to reprise their roles as a salve for the cutting Elizabeth Shue and Adam Scott. Take a look, but fair warning: If you didn’t like the first, you probably won’t like this:
Oh, and though it doesn’t have any nudity, that trailer might be somewhat NSFW.
The movie’s posters, however, are just good, clean fun:
There’s no release date yet in the U.S. or most markets, but since it comes out there April 5, lucky Russian potheads will get the chance to celebrate 4/20 with Piranha 3DD.
Rob Payne also writes the indie comic The Unstoppable Force, tweets on the Twitter @RobOfWar, and his ware can be purchased here (if you’re into that sort of thing). He’s also a fan of Danielle Panabaker, but not in a creepy way. Okay, not entirely.