If there’s one thing I’ve learned from all my years of following trade news and reviewing films, it’s this: Never let David Schwimmer direct your movie. I don’t know what kind of amazing bee-jays this man gives, but he managed to convince Thandie Newton and Simon Pegg to star in his first film, the very mediocre Run Fat Boy Run. And now he’s convinced Clive Owen to star in his feature follow-up, Trust, which isn’t even a comedy. It’s a staid, head-achingly dull kidnap thriller, at least based on this trailer. It must be the British thing: The Brits loooove Schwimmer (he also directed episodes of “Little Britain.”) Maybe over in the UK, Ross was everyone’s favorite, because the UK must be bizarro US. I bet they like the side of the OREO cookie without the filling over there, too. And Dante’s Peak over Volcano. And Dawson over Pacey. What kind of country would choose Dawson over Pacey? Jesus Christ, we should’ve colonized you when we had the chance. Damn.
Here’s the trailer for Trust, which also stars Catherine Keener.