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Never Trust a Godd*mn Vampire

By Dustin Rowles | Trailers | August 19, 2009 |

By Dustin Rowles | Trailers | August 19, 2009 |

The trailer for the Canadian film, Suck, plays more like a music video, which I suppose is the point. It’s a vampire rock n’ roll spoof, from writer/director, who I have to assume is someone of some note in Canada, as he’s managed to pull together an interesting, if not eclectic cast for the movie: Dave Foley, Malcolm McDowell, Henry Rollins, Iggy Pop, Alice Cooper, and Moby.

The trailer itself, which is scored to a fairly decent music track, is only intermittently funny, and looks like the kind of movie you’d never seek out in theaters (it premieres at the Toronto Film Fest), but that might pull you in after bar time while you’re drunk and eating a lukewarm Hot Pocket that you were too impatient to microwave for a full three minutes. It’s a channel-flipping movie, something you come across and say, “Hey! That’s Dave Foley” (or Iggy Pop) and stick around a few minutes until you fall asleep.

Cool concept, though. Vampires and rock music. The execution? Maybe not so much. We’ll see.

The logline:

A rock’n’roll vampire spoof about a down and out band, The Winners, who will do anything for a record deal. When their disgruntled manager (Dave Foley) tells them that they are getting “long in the tooth,” he doesn’t know that his words are truly prophetic. During a road trip, their humdrum image radically changes when Jennifer (Jessica Paré), the bass player, disappears one night with a hip vampire (Dimitri Coats). She emerges with a sexually charged charisma that drives the audiences wild.

As the band members succumb, one by one, to blood lust, their “gimmick” launches them into the limelight. Following an “incident” on a national radio show with “Rock’n Roger” (Henry Rollins), they hit mega-stardom beyond their wildest dreams. Joey (Rob Stefaniuk), the lead singer, is haunted by an eerie bartender (Alice Cooper), who turns out to be much more. Meanwhile, legendary vampire hunter, Eddie Van Helsig (Malcolm McDowell), is tracking them down, despite his fear of the dark. When a veteran music producer (Iggy Pop) calls them.

Here’s the trailer:

Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.

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