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090123_spreadSTILL.jpg

I Hate It. No. Seriously. I Hate It

By Dustin Rowles | Trailers | June 25, 2009 |

By Dustin Rowles | Trailers | June 25, 2009 |


Hi.

Here’s the trailer for Spread. I hate it. I hate every single frame. I hate this trailer in its face. I hate it like a termite in a turd box. If this trailer were on fire, I’d piss on it. And then light it on fire again. I hate Ashton Kutcher in it. And somehow, I hate his character even more than I hate Ashton Kutcher. I hate that Kutcher thinks adopting a nasally sound somehow constitutes actressin’. I hate that the character is a poor man’s version of Ryan Phillipe in Cruel Intentions. He is that L.A. hipster douchebag I despise so very fucking much. I want to move back to Arkansas, buy a pair of cowboy boots, and fly to L.A. just so I can shove them up this character’s goddamn ass.

I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. It played at Sundance for fuck’s sake! Have they no shame?

Give it look see! It’s called Spread because of course it is.

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Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.